Good Reason

It's okay to be wrong. It's not okay to stay wrong.

Category: life (page 3 of 4)

La Maison en Petits Cubes

Had to share. A very appropriate film for a rainy Tuesday.

La Maison en Petits Cubes from Rhena_Sama on Vimeo.

Career guidance counselor

Sunday blasphemy: Life without gods is enjoyable and ethical

Ran across this quote as a Facebook status update.

Without God, life would end at the grave and our mortal experiences would have no purpose. Growth and progress would be temporary, accomplishment without value, challenges without meaning.

In other words: There must be a god. If there weren’t, it would be depressing, and depressing things just can’t be true!

Not much of an argument, is it? But you can see the self-congratulatory appeal. It tells the believer: ‘You’re not wasting your time believing. Your belief gives your life a purpose.’ Well, I suppose the author’s church gives him a purpose. Maybe he actually means that his life would be meaningless without the god that he’s based all his hopes and aspirations on.

It also lets him pity atheists — oh, how empty their lives must seem!

Well, he can save his pity. Life without gods is still full of value and meaning, even if it doesn’t last forever. In fact, I find life more precious because of its brief duration.

I’m thinking of Babette’s Feast, a wondrous film that I first saw at BYU. (I wonder if it’s still a favourite on the International Films list.) Babette, a French chef, is a long-time resident of a village full of dour Lutherans. When she announces that she’s making a feast for her friends, it sends them into turmoil — how can they enjoy the feast while renouncing the pleasures of the flesh? Maybe it’s the age I am now, but as a BYU student with false assurances of a future eternity, I thought, “What a neat film.” Now when I think of it, and of our brief time to feast, I am moved to tears. I feel that coming to accept mortality and non-existence has deepened my emotions in way that was impossible when I thought life would go forever.

Is growth and progress temporary — and therefore meaningless — if we die and cease to exist? For the individual, perhaps, but there’s more than just us, you know. There’s also humanity. The great things that people have made and left behind continue to benefit all of us. How short-sighted to claim it’s all pointless if he’s not around to have it forever. How self-centered. How this view devalues life. What paucity of imagination. What meanness of spirit.

There’s more. The author continues:

There would be no ultimate right and wrong and no moral responsibility to care for one another as fellow children of God.

Ultimate right and wrong? Says someone whose barbaric holy books need constant reinterpretation and explanation to bear any resemblance to the morality held by normal people today.

And as far as moral responsibility, if he needs to believe in an invisible man to care about other humans, then I hope he never stops believing. Luckily, we atheists can take care of people we love and contribute to the good of humanity without all the supernatural baggage.

I wonder if the author of this quote would be disappointed to find that atheists aren’t all miserable and depressed. We have the temerity to be happy in this life. And how confusing it must be to see us taking care of other people without an ‘absolute morality’. I think I’ll confuse him even more by dropping a few coins into ‘Non-Believers Giving Aid‘. Figure that one out, God-Boy.

Back to the old meeting-house

I did eventually return that box of church books. I didn’t recycle any of the old lesson manuals or anything, just gave them back. I debated annotating the margins with point for point rebuttals, but that would have taken more work than benefit.

It was good to see some old friends and acquaintances. Oldest Boy came along, too. A few people asked him if he’d be coming back, looking hopeful. (His reaction: Don’t think so.) He thought it was kind of good to see people, though he was annoyed that everyone commented on how tall he’d gotten. Other people’s kids looked older too. That was strange. I must have been away longer than I’d realised. In fact, it’s only been three years, but it feels longer.

The building looked the same, the art was the same, and the lessons were probably about the same as when I’d left. In fact, that was the overall impression I got: sameness. But not stability — stagnation.

Same people there, too, still hearing the same messages, same exhortations to pay tithing, do Home or Visiting Teaching, support the activities, and on and on. I could probably go back in three more years, and still find mostly the same people there. It’s silly, but because I only ever saw these people at church, I had this cognitive illusion that they’d never left the building in all that time. It was all a bit Hotel California.

I couldn’t imagine sitting through another meeting rehashing the same material — same scriptures, maybe some interesting discussion, maybe a bit of controversy, never really able to be resolved, and the same curriculum over and over.

Since leaving religion, I’ve had more time to learn about the world we live in — about science and nature, philosophy and ethics, language and life. No doubt all the church people had learned things in the interim, too, when not at church. But what I’ve learned — and they still haven’t — is that life is enhanced, not diminished, by enjoying the real world and by rejecting the unseen world of gods, angels, devils, and spirits. Sure, I learned a lot of good moral teachings in that church, and some really awful ones. But the religious system was like a maze that you could stay in forever, whose passages only led back to the same places, with no relation to the outside world.

As I left the building that day, I felt relieved not to be there anymore. I want to say that it was the feeling of having graduated, but that’s not quite right. It was the feeling of having escaped.

My son and I said goodbye to everyone, and walked out into the sunlight. It was a beautiful Sunday morning, too nice to be inside. People were playing a game in a field opposite the church. Life was happening out in the real world, and we were a part of it.

Bertrand Russell’s ‘A Liberal Decalogue’

This is a list I found in my wanderings. It’s sometimes known as Bertrand Russell’s ‘Ten Commandments’, though I like his title better: ‘A Liberal Decalogue‘.

  1. Do not feel absolutely certain of anything.
  2. Do not think it worthwhile to produce belief by concealing evidence, for the evidence is sure to come to light.
  3. Never try to discourage thinking, for you are sure to succeed.
  4. When you meet with opposition, even if it is from your family, endeavour to overcome it with argument and not by authority, for a victory dependent upon authority is unreal and illusory.
  5. Have no respect for the authority of others, for there are always contrary authorities to be found.
  6. Do not use power to suppress opinions you think pernicious, for if you do, the opinions will suppress you.
  7. Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.
  8. Find more pleasure in intelligent dissent than in passive agreement, for if you value intelligence as you should, the former implies a deeper agreement than the latter.
  9. Be scrupulously truthful even if the truth is inconvenient, for it is more inconvenient when you try to conceal it.
  10. Do not feel envious of the happiness of those who live in a fool’s paradise, for only a fool will think that is happiness.

I’m glad number 1 is at the top. Certainty just isn’t on offer in this universe. And that’s okay. We try to perceive reality as close as we can, even though we know our view is only partial, and we’ll need to update sometimes.

For some reason, number 10 jumps out at me. I suppose that’s because I know a lot of people in organisations and religions that teach foolishness, and, yes, achieving some happiness therein. I don’t envy them. Maybe I can’t be happy if I know I’m pretending.

Helping Haiti the secular way

Those who are still wondering how to help people in Haiti may want to check out some secular ways of alleviating the suffering. Here are two.

Médecins Sans Frontières (Australia|other countries) is secular, and is making a real difference in Haiti. The server is busy right now — I hope that’s because they’re getting hammered with donations.

The Richard Dawkins Foundation for Reason and Science has an effort going to send money to MSF and the International Red Cross. I love seeing this kind of thing happening from the RDFRS, and I hope they keep it up. As the man says:

The myth that it is only the religious who truly care is sustained largely by the fact that they tend to donate not as individuals, but through their churches. Non-believers, by contrast, give as individuals: we have no church through which to give collectively, no church to rack up statistics of competitive generosity. Non-Believers Giving Aid is not a church (that’s putting it mildly) but it does provide an easy conduit for the non-religious to help those in desperate need, whilst simultaneously giving the lie to the canard that you need God to be good.

Here’s a chance to show what non-believers can do, even without an invisible fairy to reward us after we die. All right, so appealing to a sense of competition isn’t the worthiest of motivators, but when it gets money to people who need it, who’s going to complain?

What’s the point?

During one of those browser free-association moments, I found myself staring at the Mormon.org website. That’s the focus for their proselyting efforts on the Web.

Here’s something that really curdled my cream.

What’s the Point of Having a Family If It All Ends at Death?

I wanted to have a family but wondered what would be the point of having one, if it all ended at death.

I wanted a sandwich, but wondered, “What’s the point of having a sandwich if it’s just going to end when I’ve eaten the sandwich?”

This is something I’ve heard from a number of believers: if life doesn’t go on forever, then life is just some cosmic joke with no purpose.

I harbour no illusions that my family relations will last forever, since no one’s ever provided evidence of a world beyond. Nevertheless, I see a great deal of point in having a family. I get to have good people in my life. I get to raise a couple of good men for the next generation of humankind. We have good talks. My beloved and I get to live together happily, right now. That’s worth something, even if it doesn’t last forever.

Life is cool. There’s so much to enjoy: get-togethers with people we love, good food, books, music. And sadness and frustration. A whole universe of wonder and discovery. And for this creep to sit there and say ‘What’s the point?’ is a kind of petulance bordering on ingratitude.

Film Board of Canada shorts

I’ve just discovered the film archives of the Film Board of Canada. Not only have they served as the inspiration for a great band name, they’ve been behind some great short films. Some of them I’ve seen before, and I’m very pleased to have found them again.

The Big Snit

People in relationships really know where all the hurts are. Here, a game of Scrabble becomes all-out war between Mr and Mrs Snit. But there are funny moments here — the voice of the cat is a touch of genius. Favourite moment: Mrs Snit says, “Do you have to keep sawing on the table?” and Mr Snit stops sawing long enough to holler, “I”M NOT!” But they’ll get it back together and remember why they loved each other in the first place, and when they do, there’s a comfort that could make a nuclear war seem barely noticeable.

Blackfly

You think flies are bad where you are? Try living in Ontario. At least, that’s how this folk song has it. I’d still say they’re worse in Australia. Catchy chorus, though.

Hunger

I was especially glad to find this one. I remember seeing this with my Dad when it first came out in 1973. There was a screening in the Kennedy Library at EWU (but then it was EWSC). It was so visually arresting that I never forgot it, and have still remembered the basic plot even though I was six when I saw it. Some amazing early CG work, especially considering the state of computer animation at the time.

Neighbours

I’d only ever heard about this one. The film uses stop-motion animation to show a conflict between two neighbours that escalates into something unexpectedly savage.

A lot of these films, like ‘Hunger’ and ‘Neighbours’, address dark human tendencies like war and racism, but by examining how they play out at the level of our individual desires. They do this with lightness and humour, and a kind of high-minded earnestness that seems refreshing but anachronistic today. Imagine: perhaps someone thought these problems could be beaten in our lifetime.

Meeting one of my converts

I was an LDS missionary in the late 80s, spending two years of my life to promote superstition, magical thinking, and (worst of all) faith. The whole thing embarrasses me acutely now. I sometimes try and excuse myself; I was under the influence of well-meaning family and friends, born into a religious system that valued its own perpetuation. However, I’m pleased to say that out of all the people I taught and baptised, none is active.

Except one family. I remember them especially because of the numerous discussions we had. As a missionary, I always felt a bit paternal toward people I taught. I tried to explain things to them, convince them of church doctrine, and persuade them to accept, one by one, an ever-increasing cycle of commitments. The trick of this, I realise now, was that, once the investigator is more and more heavily invested in the Mormon Church with time, effort, and money, the more the sunk cost fallacy takes over and the harder it is for investigators to extricate themselves. You don’t believe in the Church? Then why are you doing all these things? And if they don’t get out, on the cycle goes.

I’d seen this family around church over the years, but just the other day I ran into the mom at the shopping centre. We chatted, and she asked how I was going with church. So I explained that I was no longer a member, and that I didn’t do religion anymore.

Some people have taken this with some equanimity, but not her. She was shaken. “Why not?” she asked.

Ordinarily, I’d tell someone the usual: I’d thought the whole thing was true, but eventually I realised the evidence for God wasn’t there; that science does a much better job of getting at reality; that if you have faith in something it makes you less able to think critically about it, et cetera, et cetera. But I realised that I couldn’t give my usual spiel in this situation. The roles we’d played for each other were too different. See, her main memory of me was the guy who sat in her house representing the LDS Church, convincing her to spend hours of her life in the service of this group. Now I was bailing, and she was still there. And something in her tone suggested to me that she was not too happy about that. Some people really seem to enjoy being Mormons; somehow she gave the opposite impression. But how would she ever pull the ejector seat? Could I now be the anti-missionary, or would that make me seem completely evil? The whole Mormon image-conscious bullshit thing was doing a number on my head once again.

A funny thing: I didn’t sugar-coat the facts about the Church being wrong, but I didn’t argue tooth and nail either. I wonder why I held back. Maybe I’m sick of being The Evangelist. Evangelism’s for fools. And she hadn’t asked for me to change her religion that day, just as she hadn’t asked me to change it all those years ago. Had I interfered enough? On the other hand, I cared about this person as we argued about religion there in the shopping centre. I regretted the monstrous waste of her time that I was directly responsible for. If I could start her on a process of fact-hunting, maybe she could eventually get free of an organisation that she didn’t enjoy promulgating. Or would that just put her at loggerheads with her Mormon (and in some cases RM) family? Was I proffering freedom, or conflict? What do you do?

What I did was this: I told her about my experience of leaving the LDS Church, and how worthwhile it’s been. I gave my reasons plainly. And when she tried turning the tables and invited me to a church activity, I did what she should have done all those years ago: I politely declined.

There was one thing I didn’t say that I wish I had. All those years ago, when she looked up to me as a spiritual example, it was because I said what I believed, and told the truth insofar as I knew it. And that’s what I’m still doing now. There was no reason for her to think less of me, or me of myself. Quite the contrary.

But ever since that chance meeting in the shopping centre, I have had this inescapable impression: that out of all the rotten, evil, terrible actions in my life (not that there are all that many), serving a mission for the Mormon Church was by far the worst thing I have ever done. Not only did I waste part of my life in furthering ignorance, I wasted other people’s lives too.

Happy Nerdmas!

Yes, I did turn 15,000 days old on Sunday. And I know because of the Birthday Calculator. To celebrate the event, I wrote a lot of maudlin things that you’d never want to read, and then to spare you the agony, I deleted them.

I’ll just say that this next 15,000 days (if I get them all) are going to be the best. Found true love? Check! Had two charming sons? Check. Thesis finished? Almost check! (Check minus. But soon.) I figure even if I died today, I still got a lot more life than most people in history ever did.

I feel like I now have a grip on this ‘living’ thing. As an adolescent, I used to feel angry or morose a lot, like I suppose people do. Thank goodness that phase passed. Now I feel more comfortable, more like me. I feel pretty good where I am, and ready for the rest of my life.

I really like being alive.

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