I couldn’t believe it. There I was watching the NYE festivities, waiting for the ball to drop, and Cee-Lo Green is doing a version of John Lennon’s ‘Imagine’. Hm, thought I, a secular song. Wonder if he’ll tamper with it. And, sure enough, instead of “and no religion too”, he decides to slide in “and all religion’s true”.
How does that work? “Imagine there’s no heaven… And all religion’s true.” All religion can’t be true! They teach mutually incompatible, multiply contradicting things.
Couldn’t we just have one atheist song performed in public this holiday season? You know, all Xmas long, I sang songs about Jebus, and I wasn’t that happy about it, especially because Xtianity is not the whole point of Xmas. But I sang them anyway, words intact. And fuckers in the USA can’t even play an atheistic song straight. Seriously, fuck you, Cee-Lo Green, even though I don’t know who you are. You’re a horrible singer.
That does it. Now I’m going to give Xtians the War on Xmas they always thought they were getting. Tooth and nail. Anybody says anything remotely religious around me, I’m going to tell them they’re a deluded fool. It’s war.
Another thing. Someone asks me if I want to go to church on Xmas, I’m going to tell them they are wasting their time in that place. I went this year, and I was nice about it. No more. What’s the two things that apologists always say in defense of religion? They have great music, and they have great architecture. Well, I went to church, and the music was excruciating, and it was being done to me in a horrible featureless suburban church building. Fuck you, Mormon church.
In a year, all the religious people will thank me for speaking out and helping them see how they were wrong. If not, fuck them anyway. Fuck cultural deism, fuck Xmas carols, and fuck default Xtianity.
This is the new me.
1 January 2012 at 10:58 pm
I am right there with you. This song resulted in another conversation of Ashley F. Miller's blog. She takes a little different spin and thought it was no big deal. My opinion is that the song is the product of an artists work, in this case John Lennon, and that artist's effort should be respected. If you don't want to perform the song as written… don't perform it.
2 January 2012 at 7:02 am
I can see that this trip stateside has brought out the softer gentler side in you 🙂
The denotation of 'all religion's true' is pretty much the same as 'no religion too', because (as you point out) religions deny each other. The connotation, on the other hand, makes me want to puke.
2 January 2012 at 12:21 pm
You know Cee-Lo has a song called "Fuck You" right?
Sounds like your trip to home and church had a big effect on you..
Good on you for resolving to say what you really think around religious folk, although must say I don't think any religious folk will be thanking you!
2 January 2012 at 2:31 pm
Lol, I'm not sure if you're going to win anyone over to our side with that attitude… I never liked Imagine because though some of the messages in it are good, overall it's just recommending sitting around and not doing anything, imagining rather than making it happen.
2 January 2012 at 4:01 pm
No, really, they will thank me. They'll come to me with hands clasped in gratitude. "We weren't sure we were happy with what you were saying at first," they'll say, "but gradually your punishing snark helped us see where we were so, so wrong." Then we'll all go out for donuts.
3 January 2012 at 1:58 pm
Is it April 1 where you are Daniel? Or was your Christmas a bit too merry this year?
12 January 2012 at 2:52 pm
Couldn't we just have one atheist song performed in public this holiday season?
There is the song (here in the States) "I saw Momma Kissing Santa Claus" Will that do? Not really atheist, of course, but not too pious either.