Good Reason

It's okay to be wrong. It's not okay to stay wrong.

Category: War on Christmas

Getting an early start on the War on Xmas

I couldn’t believe it. There I was watching the NYE festivities, waiting for the ball to drop, and Cee-Lo Green is doing a version of John Lennon’s ‘Imagine’. Hm, thought I, a secular song. Wonder if he’ll tamper with it. And, sure enough, instead of “and no religion too”, he decides to slide in “and all religion’s true”.

How does that work? “Imagine there’s no heaven… And all religion’s true.” All religion can’t be true! They teach mutually incompatible, multiply contradicting things.

Couldn’t we just have one atheist song performed in public this holiday season? You know, all Xmas long, I sang songs about Jebus, and I wasn’t that happy about it, especially because Xtianity is not the whole point of Xmas. But I sang them anyway, words intact. And fuckers in the USA can’t even play an atheistic song straight. Seriously, fuck you, Cee-Lo Green, even though I don’t know who you are. You’re a horrible singer.

That does it. Now I’m going to give Xtians the War on Xmas they always thought they were getting. Tooth and nail. Anybody says anything remotely religious around me, I’m going to tell them they’re a deluded fool. It’s war.

Another thing. Someone asks me if I want to go to church on Xmas, I’m going to tell them they are wasting their time in that place. I went this year, and I was nice about it. No more. What’s the two things that apologists always say in defense of religion? They have great music, and they have great architecture. Well, I went to church, and the music was excruciating, and it was being done to me in a horrible featureless suburban church building. Fuck you, Mormon church.

In a year, all the religious people will thank me for speaking out and helping them see how they were wrong. If not, fuck them anyway. Fuck cultural deism, fuck Xmas carols, and fuck default Xtianity.

This is the new me.

Why do Mormons cut Christmas services short if they fall on a Sunday?

Nobody asked:

Dear Daniel: In other churches, people go to church on Christmas. There’s a Christmas Eve service at midnight, another in the morning, and maybe even again that night! It’s all they do! But Mormons seem to do it differently. They don’t go to church at all on Christmas if it’s not on a Sunday, and if it is, they actually reduce the length of the meetings. Why do Latter-day Saints do it this way?

Dear Nobody:

It’s because Mormons secretly loathe and detest their church meetings, and look for any way to avoid them if they have anything better to do. And who can blame them? Between the well-meaning but excruciating ward choir numbers, amateurish talks, infantile lesson manuals, and other people’s screechy children, many Mormons are under the (probably correct) impression that their meetings are the worst part of being in the church.

The Mormon method of worship has a lot to do with this. At their meetings, Mormons try to ‘feel the Spirit’. This essentially involves boring themselves into a quasi-meditative state in which any sensation they feel is assumed to be the Holy Ghost. No wonder they gratefully escape when there’s an opportunity to do something fun with family.

As for other churches, they ramp up their Christmas services because they secretly loathe and detest themselves.

Tim Minchin’s Xmas song: Woody Allen Jesus

If you liked “White Wine in the Sun“, you’ll be sure to enjoy his new offering for the season: Woody Allen Jesus.

Sadly cut from the Jonathan Ross show, due to an unscheduled failure of courage from some contemptible executive.

Still a wonderful life

Last night I sat down with the boys and Miss Perfect, and watched It’s a Wonderful Life. It may not be my favourite Christmas movie (that would be Brazil), but I find it lives up to its feel-good status.

And what’s not to feel good about? George Bailey is a heroic everyman who’s not out to gouge the people who borrow from him. Mr Potter is an old-school plutocrat.

Just remember this, Mr. Potter, that this rabble you’re talking about… they do most of the working and paying and living and dying in this community. Well, is it too much to have them work and pay and live and die in a couple of decent rooms and a bath? Anyway, my father didn’t think so. People were human beings to him. But to you, a warped, frustrated old man, they’re cattle. Well in my book, my father died a much richer man than you’ll ever be!

Remember when wealthy “fat cat” bankers were villains in movies, instead of being held up as paragons of virtue and job creation? And when George is down and money goes missing from the bank, the 99% step in and save his building-and-loan from closure and him from arrest. Thanks goodness these themes are becoming relevant again.

For me, though, the peak is George’s new-found elation at being alive, his joy for life, even with its unmet ambitions and frustrations. Okay, so there’s a warning for religious themes (what the hell was Zuzu’s teacher thinking, telling schoolkids that?), but all that aside, it’s still worth a watch if you haven’t seen it for a few years.

The yearly War on Christmas email from my family

A family member has sent this rather long and well-circulated email.

Apparently the White House referred to Christmas Trees as Holiday Trees for the first time this year which prompted CBS presenter, Ben Stein, to present this piece which I would like to share with you. I think it applies just as much to many countries as it does to America .

The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary.

My confession:

I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees, Christmas trees. I don’t feel threatened. I don’t feel discriminated against. That’s what they are, Christmas trees.

It doesn’t bother me a bit when people say, ‘Merry Christmas’ to me. I don’t think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn’t bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a creche, it’s just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don’t like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don’t think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from, that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can’t find it in the Constitution and I don’t like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship celebrities and we aren’t allowed to worship God ? I guess that’s a sign that I’m getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to.
– – – – –
In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it’s not funny, it’s intended to get you thinking.

Billy Graham’s daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her ‘How could God let something like this happen?’ (regarding Hurricane Katrina).. Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, ‘I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we’ve been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?’

In light of recent events… terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O’Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn’t want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill; thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn’t spank our children when they misbehave, because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock’s son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he’s talking about. And we said okay.

Now we’re asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don’t know right from wrong, and why it doesn’t bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with ‘WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.’

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world’s going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send ‘jokes’ through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Are you laughing yet?

Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.

Pass it on if you think it has merit.

If not, then just discard it…. no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don’t sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.

My Best Regards, Honestly and respectfully,

Ben Stein

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
I sent this back:

As the atheist of the family, I thought I’d respond.

There seems to be some idea floating around that atheists hate Christmas and want to stop it. Well, that’s just silly. I love Christmas! In fact, for the last ten years, I’ve been in a choir that puts on a big Christmas show. (Some of the other singers are atheists, and they like Christmas too.) I’ve got most of Handel’s Messiah memorised, and when we do “Angels We Have Heard on High”, I can belt out a lusty “Glo-ria” with the best of them. I don’t believe the story, but I keep singing at Christmas because I like the music. I like the lights, and the food, and being with family, just like everyone does.

What I don’t like, however, is compulsory worship. Christians like their religion, and that’s fine. But I don’t like how some Christians have decided that schools are the place where they want this part of the culture war to play out. I hope nobody I’m writing to thinks this, but maybe someone thinks that prayer in school is a pretty good idea. So here’s a thought experiment.

Imagine your school district announced that, starting tomorrow, everyone was going to have Muslim prayers to Allah. If you’re thinking, “Gee, I don’t know if I’d feel very comfortable with that,” well, that’s about how an atheist feels. And that’s not just because atheists don’t want to have prayers to Allah in school (although that’s true). It’s also because we think public schools ought to be neutral on the subject of religion. That way, the children of Muslims, Christians, Hindus, Zoroastrians, Wiccans, Mormons, and (yes) atheists all get a level playing field. No one’s religion is promoted at the expense of anyone else’s. Sounds fair to me. And by doing it that way, schools are obeying the Constitution, which is the law of the land.

If people (including Ben Stein) are concerned that there isn’t enough religion in society, then I have some good news: there are already buildings for teaching religion, and they’re called churches. They’re very nice, they’re already built, and you can choose exactly which kind you like. (And they’re tax-free, because tax-payers are compelled to pick up the financial burden for churches, even wealthy ones, whether they want to or not.) Worshipping at home is also a very good option.

I don’t know if I really needed to write this. I actually think that most Christians are smarter and more fair-minded than the person who wrote the latter half of the email (and it wasn’t Ben Stein). The idea that God is going to allow the nation to be smitten with horrible disasters unless enough non-believers are compelled to grovel before him against their will is, fortunately, not an idea that I have seen too many Christians get behind. But here it is, just in case.

Comments welcome.

Love,
Daniel

White Wine in the Sun

I got the chance to see Tim Minchin’s show ‘Ready for This’ last week. Highly recommended, if you ever get the chance to see him. I’ve always enjoyed his musical comedy with a skeptical bent. What I hadn’t expected was how accomplished a pianist he is. He was really ripping up and down the keyboard.

And as a special treat, the encore was his lovely Christmas song, “White Wine in the Sun”. Have a listen.

I like to imagine the family gathering he’s describing — not a bad description of Christmas in Perth, I must say.

When people talk about the ‘true meaning of Christmas’, they usually mean a certain dead Palestinian. That’s not the case for me anymore. Now Christmas is about music (I do a lot of singing), but also being with the people you love, and who make you feel safe.

A lovely song. Follow this link to buy it from iTunes — part proceeds to autism research.

Music vs lyrics

I’ve been doing lots of Christmas music with my two choirs this week. Last week it was “An Australian Bush Christmas”, with lots of Wheeler and James. You non-Australians have probably never heard of such Christmas classics as “The Three Drovers”, “The Silver Stars Are in the Sky”, and “Sing Gloria”, which is a shame because they really are lovely carols, and very Australian. And tomorrow it’s Handel’s Messiah, which I’ve decided to perform from memory, partly because this is my 7th year and it’s about time, and partly because I don’t know which box my score is in.

Christmas music is one of my favourite things about the season, but have you noticed that the songs are very frequently about Jebus? Funny that. And it’s giving this atheist a case of the screaming jeebies. I want to enjoy it for the music, but it’s hard to do when it means you’re affirming the existence of angels, resurrection, and salvation from non-existent punishment. It’s enough to drive you to reindeer.

I mean, the Messiah is gorgeous and so fun to perform. But I kind of grit my teeth during “I Know That My Redeemer Liveth”, and I feel the incongruity especially keenly during “Since By Man Came Death”, where the choir sings “E’en so, in Christ shall all be made alive.” And I realise that I’m somehow reifying a view I think is false.

I still love Christmas, and I hope that by celebrating it, I can contribute to its secularisation. But the religious nature of it is so entrenched in all that lovely musical tradition. I suppose I’ll eventually either relax about it and capitulate, or else stop performing it.

Action item: Call and support free speech

Seems that Washington DC Metro is copping some heat over the atheist bus ads.

More than 200 people have complained to Metro about an ad campaign that questions believing in God. One person praised the campaign.

That should be a little higher, don’t you think?

The ads by the American Humanist Association first appeared on buses two weeks ago and inside buses Monday. They say, “Why believe in a god? Just be good for goodness’ sake.”

Metro spokeswoman Candace Smith said the ads have sparked more complaints than usual.

“As a public agency, Metro must observe the First Amendment with respect to the acceptance of commercial advertising,” Smith said. “Although we understand that feelings and perceptions will vary among individuals within the community, we cannot reject advertising because an individual, or group, finds it inappropriate or offensive.”

So even though their policy requires them to accept ads, I think Metro deserves some props for their commitment to the 1st Amendment guarantee of freedom of speech.

Here’s your assignment. Call the DC Metro on (202) 637 1328 during business hours (9am – 5pm EST), and commend them for running the ‘Why Believe in a God’ ads on buses. Or, if you don’t want to phone, you can leave a customer comment on their website, found here. Now get busy.

UPDATE: While you’re at it, would you mind calling the office of Washington Governor Christine Gregoire? The number is 360-902-4111.

She’s been getting some flack about an atheist message in the capitol building. It says:

At this season of the Winter Solstice may reason prevail. There are no gods, no devils, no angels, no heaven or hell. There is only our natural world. Religion is but myth and superstition that hardens hearts and enslaves minds.

Opposition has been trumped up by Fox TV’s Bill O’Reilly, who has encouraged viewers to call and complain.

Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly had an eight-minute segment on his show Tuesday night decrying the inclusion of the atheistic billboard along with a holiday tree and a Christian nativity scene.

Conservative TV personality O’Reilly called the display “political correctness gone mad” and urged viewers to call Gov. Christine Gregoire’s office to complain.

Gregoire spokesman Pearse Edwards says the office has been getting about 200 calls an hour, as well as e-mails.

I’m actually glad that O’Reilly’s come out against the sign. First, it means that the oogedy-boogedy religious wing of the GOP is not lying down and dying. They’ll be alienating voters and causing a headache for the Republican Party for years to come. Second, O’Reilly and his ilk are showing what they stand for. They’re not for freedom of speech. They’re for one view only — theirs. But if you allow one point of view in a public place, it’s only fair to include them all. Or none.

Hey, that’s a solution. Take everything down. The Christmas tree, the atheist sign, the menorah, all of it. Now that’s a war on Christmas! Why do you suppose Bill hates Christmas so much?

Values voters all switch to Oreos

I’m way behind in the War on Christmas — I haven’t even started on my War on Christmas shopping yet. But I was heartened to see this latest salvo in the push to get Jesus out of the holidays.

See that? Xmas trees! Not only are Doritos celebrating paganism in tasty tree form (in defiance of Jeremiah 10), but even the name of Christ has been replaced by an X.

This might seem like a minor thing. Some may even point out that the X in Xmas is actually the Greek letter chi, the first letter in ‘Christ’. But at this special time of year, let’s savour even the small and delicious victories. And keep it up! Perhaps in just a couple of years, we can convert Christmas into a bland, secular holiday focused mainly on commerce. Forward, comrades!

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