I was disappointed in the video of the Pope Attack, but only because I got it wrong: I thought the Pope had attacked someone. You must admit, it would be worth watching. When Popes Attack. Instead, a crazed loony jumped him like a LOLcat on a tree ornament, and he only got his pointy hat knocked to the ground.

That’s okay, but it’s even better when you apply the Benny Hill soundtrack to it. Now that’s comedy gold!

Jokes aside, I can’t condone an attack on an elderly virgin, even from a fellow loon. I want the Pope to disappear as much as anyone, but this kind of thing won’t help. Just as Jason and Freddy will only die when audiences refuse to watch their movies, the Pope will only cease to exist when people stop believing in him. Sorta like Tinkerbell. And I don’t mean the outfit.