Does God exist? Only one way to find out:
A man shouting that God would keep him safe was mauled to death by a lioness in Kiev zoo after he crept into the animal’s enclosure, a zoo official said on Monday.
“The man shouted ‘God will save me, if he exists’, lowered himself by a rope into the enclosure, took his shoes off and went up to the lions,” the official said.
“A lioness went straight for him, knocked him down and severed his carotid artery.”
So that’s pretty conclusive, then.
It’s a senseless tragedy, and very sad for the man, his family, and the observers. I can’t find any way to express the enormity of this, except through the sensitive medium of poetry. So I’m challenging everyone in the world to a limerick contest on this topic. Put ’em in comments. I’ll post mine when I’ve got a good one.
8 June 2006 at 3:15 pm
There was once a man in his sunday best,
and he was full to the brim with heroic zest,
he said that the glory of god was his calling,
and that it would save him from a lion’s mauling,
but he struck on the day when the lord takes a rest.
9 June 2006 at 2:32 am
Good one! I’ll cut you come slack on the meter thing.
Here’s my first try:
A man wished to probe God’s ontology,
And re-enact Bible symbology.
They’ve now laid him to rest.
What a shame that his test
Didn’t square with the lion’s theology.
9 June 2006 at 9:09 am
I meant I would cut you ‘some’ slack, obviously.
9 June 2006 at 3:01 pm
ill cut you some slack with the type-o’s!…well done on yours…second to mine…do you know charango is actually a south-american instrument made from an armadillo?..of course you wouldnt considering the closest youve been to south america is another hemisphere…hmmm
9 June 2006 at 4:15 pm
Secretly I did know that because when I saw the album title I said ‘What the heck is that?’ and looked it up. Why would someone do that to an armadillo? Are there any other animals people make instruments out of?
I went to Mexico once.
9 June 2006 at 5:25 pm
Thats ok Dan. I didnt know that either even though I lived in Chile. Of course it could be because all the ones I saw were made out of wood.
10 June 2006 at 12:27 am
A theist with a plan in his head
Showed critical thinking and said,
“An empirical test
is always the best”
While to the lion he found himself fed
You might ask how he met this sad fate.
But he came to empiricism too late.
“I thought my faith
Would keep me safe”
Was the variable that got the man ate.
(the rhyme of faith and safe works in the regional East Kent accent 🙂
10 June 2006 at 1:34 am
A two-parter! Bonus points for mentioning empiricism.
‘To get ate’ probably works in East Kent as well 🙂
10 June 2006 at 9:20 pm
Yes, as does the even more hideous ‘I done it’. My younger daughter has a tendency to use the latter and it always elicits a chorus of ‘I *did* it’ from myself, older daughter and lovely lodger.