I saw this ordered list of the most offensive words for British English speakers.

I asked the ABC, Australia’s government TV station, if they’d done any research on which were the worst swear words in Australia. This prim message came to the inbox this morning.

The ABC has not conducted research about the words Australians find offensive. The ABC’s programs are classified in accordance with Office and Film Literature Classification guidelines, http://www.oflc.gov.au/special.html. Please be assured your suggestion has been noted. Thank you for taking the time to write.

What a shame. If only someone had taken the time to find out, we wouldn’t have had fiascos like this.

I can think of a few more words that weren’t on the BBC list. If you get an ARC grant to do this research, you can hire me as a consultant, and I’ll swear at you for a while. Anything for science.