Prayer doesn’t work; no one notices.

Drought conditions persist in Australia, despite the prayers of many faithful Christians and the fasting of Latter-day Saints. Theologians are baffled as to the continuing refusal of God to assist, despite his omnipotence and allegedly benevolent nature. But the faithful have no shortage of reasons:

1. God doesn’t have to prove anything to you, man! He created this planet!
2. Well, often in scripture, things are meant to be understood spiritually and not physically. So God actually has alleviated our spiritual ‘drought’. With new convert baptisms. Heh.
3. The important thing is not ending the drought. The important thing is to build faith in God. Which we can best accomplish by faith-promoting tests that don’t work.
4. But he has ended the drought! It’s over! Can’t you see the rain falling? Come on, kids! Let’s put on our raincoats and splash in the puddles! Ha ha ha! Whoopee!
5. I think some rain did fall in the mining regions. That should count.
6. What are you talking about? No such fast was ever announced. Now let us never speak of this again.
7. The rain will come in the Lord’s own time. We just need to be patient. The farmers won’t even need it until it’s time to plant. I’m sure the big guy will come through then.
8. Isn’t God great? God’s so awesome! La la la! I can’t hear you!
9. I think there was a fast a while ago, but the whole thing has entirely slipped my mind, and no one at church has ever mentioned it again.
10. The Lord is testing our faith. Or Satan is tempting us. I’m not sure which — it’s awfully hard to tell the difference.
11. Gee, I guess prayer doesn’t work. OW — crippling paradigm shift! Oh, the pain! That I could unsay those words! Aaargh… excruciating…