Is there a disease that affects your ability to realise that you seem ridiculous to other people? If so, we’d better isolate Bill O’Reilly for treatment, because he’s all over it.

Make no mistake, the War on Christmas was a resounding success. Presents and carols have been fully repressed in all major cities, and even the name has been subsumed into secular non-denominational ‘holiday’ greetings. Well and good.

But I personally have no desire to remove Easter from the calendar. And to understand why, perhaps we could reflect for a moment on the true meaning of Easter.

The name comes from Eostre, a pagan goddess among the Anglo-Saxons. The Venerable Bede wrote:

Eosturmonath has a name which is now translated “Paschal month”, and which was once called after a goddess of theirs named Eostre, in whose honour feasts were celebrated in that month. Now they designate that Paschal season by her name, calling the joys of the new rite by the time-honoured name of the old observance.

And Jacob Grimm noted some aspects of Eostre worship that carried over into Christian Easter observance, notably the eggs and the bunny.

So here’s my reasoning: While I’m not into imaginary deities, we do have a shortage of pagan goddesses these days. If we have to have any at all, then let’s give the females equal time. Besides, any holiday that can sucessfully merge fertility with chocolate has to be worth something.

Remember, Eostre is the reason for the season!