Good Reason

It's okay to be wrong. It's not okay to stay wrong.

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Toshi decided to stay right where he was.

An unusual ESL artifact: English lessons for hookers.

It’s awful and embarrassing, but you find that you must keep watching in horrified fascination. Her intonation is terrible, and I don’t think she understands the meaning of the phrases she’s teaching, but at least they take a stab at subject-verb agreement and some conjugation. (Heh.) But it probably would have been more useful to get into numbers and negotiation phrases.

So many unanswered questions, though. Who is Toshi? Did we need to know that about her parents? Why did they choose such strange and contrived phrases? When would you ever use the last one?

Questions that must forever go unanswered by the easily offended.

Friday Random Five

Sirocco by The Icicle Works
Album: Nirvana (7″ single)
The Icicle Works belong to a category I call ‘October Music’. It’s autumnal and pagan. You can see the smoke hang over the village. All of 1984, I listened to their first album, and enjoyed the world it created, as the best albums always do.

This song predates the first album. I think this single on Troll Records might be quite rare.

My Old School by Steely Dan
Album: Remastered: The Best of Steely Dan Then and Now
I’ve always loved Steely Dan for their jazz-tinged close harmonies, even as a kid. I’m not as familiar with their early catalogue though. I don’t think it had the smoothness and sophistication of their later work, like Aja or Gaucho. It’s interesting, though, to listen to stuff from just before I was born. I don’t usually go there. I will say this: it’s so much better than pre-disco, like Al Stewart or Leo Sayer, even if I’m not very interested in it all the time.

Sor: Rondo by Andrés Segovia
Album: Andrés Segovia
Quote from Fernando Sor, His Life and His Music

The guitar used be called a tavern instrument; one that could not meet the demands of classical music. In the early nineteenth century, Fernando Sor set in motion the quest that continues today, to raise the guitar to the greatest musical level possible. Sor was one of the most prolific composers for, and promoters of, the guitar as a “concert” instrument, in the last two hundred years. He, and others like him paved the way for Andrés Segovia to emerge and bring the guitar to the immense popularity, and respect it enjoys today.

Easter by The Choristers of St. Paul’s Cathedral
Album: An Elizabethan Chorus
This track is presented as part of an Easter church service, complete with lector. I confess that I now have mixed feelings about having religious music in my collection. On the one hand, I’d hate to get rid of it all. Mozart’s Requiem? Pergolesi’s Stabat Mater? Vivaldi’s Gloria? Bach’s oratorios? Great stuff — we’ll never see music like that again, and I’d be poorer without it.

On the other hand, now that I no longer have a certain set of religious assumptions, I find it unexpectedly irksome to be confronted by a style of music, the overt purpose of which was to promote adherence to a set of absurd dogmas. And it irritates me that generations of musical geniuses chose to promote such systems with their wonderful music — or that they were conscripted to promote same. I still sing it, because it sounds wonderful and it’s something we’ve inherited from the past. So I suppose I shall have to adjust and not worry about it too much.

New Orleans Instrumental No. 1 by R.E.M.
Album: Automatic for the People
A moody and contemplative piece, especially poignant for what’s happened to New Orleans since the recording. Watery electric organ with somewhat off-kilter timing from the other instruments give this track a feeling of a rough draft from a sketchbook.

‘Daniel’ typeface graces architectural advert

I have just received an advertisement in the mail, if you can call a beautifully bound book an ‘advertisement’. The ad’s for Zlota 44, a residential skyscraper that is soon to tower over the Warsaw skyline. The folks at EuroRSCG Marketing have chosen my handwriting typeface ‘Daniel’ for the body text.

The pages fold out to reveal views of the Warsaw skyline, and my handwriting appears in gold on blue acetate, curved to reflect the arc of the sun, which matches the curvature of the building.

It’s a really beautiful piece. And as a bonus, no one is ever allowed to give me any crap about my handwriting ever again, ever.

As always, you can download the ‘Daniel’ typeface free from dafont.com.

Christianist comes out against democracy

‘Ten Commandments’ judge Roy Moore takes a stand against a democratically-elected congressman, and says that only Christians should be allowed to lead the country.

Muslim Ellison should not sit in Congress

Last month Keith (Hakim Mohammad) Ellison of Minnesota became the first Muslim elected to serve in the United States Congress and shocked many Americans by declaring that he would take his oath of office by placing his hand on the Quran rather than the Bible. Can a true believer in the Islamic doctrine found in the Quran swear allegiance to our Constitution? Those who profess a sincere belief in Allah say “no!”

It’s the zombie meme that wouldn’t die. Congresspeople don’t take an oath on any book.

To support the Constitution of the United States one must uphold an underlying principle of that document, liberty of conscience, which is the right of every person to worship God according to the dictates of his conscience, without interference by the government.

Sounds good so far. So what’s Moore’s problem with Ellison doing just that?

It was a specific God who endowed us with a freedom of conscience with which government could not interfere.

The Islamic faith rejects our God and believes that the state must mandate the worship of its own god, Allah.

But it’s okay to mandate the worship of the Christian god, because the Christian one gave us freedom of conscience. But then we’re not free to exercise it. But we’re free to worship the Christian God who gave us freedom of conscience to let other people force us to worship him. Is this one of those paradoxes, like the barber who only shaves every man who doesn’t shave himself? My head is spinning.

Even though it’s frustrating having Christianists around, it’s good to see them showing their true colours. It’s they who reject the constitution and seek to force everyone to worship their god. Freedom of religion means their freedom and their religion, not yours. Freedom of conscience means their freedom to control your conscience. Reproductive rights means their right to control your reproduction. And now freedom to vote means freedom to vote for who they think is suitable.

Bet he’s gay.

Soy made a man out of me

An article about soy is causing a stir over at Wing Nut Daily:

A devil food is turning our kids into homosexuals

The dangerous food I’m speaking of is soy.

Soy is feminizing, and commonly leads to a decrease in the size of the penis, sexual confusion and homosexuality.

Well, not that commonly in my case. I’m all over the soy, and

(checks)

haven’t experienced any of what he’s talking about. Evidently he’s concerned that increased soy intake will turn you into this guy:
Dancing shirtless with Dylan. Wooot!

PZ from Pharyngula plows through PubMed and concludes

There doesn’t seem to be any strong evidence that eating tofu will turn your sons into girlie-boys, I’m afraid; there are better grounds to be concerned about known endocrine disruptors like atrazine and PCBs.

But then the WND folks aren’t great on the science. An astute commenter points out that if there’s overwhelming scientific evidence for evolution or global warming, they ignore it, but one poxy article titled ‘Soy Turns Ya Gay’, and they’re all a-twitter. Gayness is the thing they most fear. It strikes at the center of their sense of identity. Have a look at these ads that loaded up when I got the WND page. It’s like a psychological composite of the inner mind of wingnut Christianism.


The gun phallus.


The fear of any sex that doesn’t involve man dominating woman. All that, and a picture of Chuck Norris. There’s a real cocktail of emotions here; a heady blend of sex, fear, machismo, monstrous insecurity, and itchy trigger fingers.

But it seems to me that if we’re trying to avoid the ever-spiraling Gay, we shouldn’t be concerned about the feminising effect of soy. We should be worried about the feminising effects of Christianity.

The founding pastor of a second Colorado church has resigned over gay sex allegations, just weeks after the evangelical community was shaken by the scandal surrounding megachurch leader Ted Haggard.

On Sunday, Paul Barnes, founding pastor of the 2,100-member Grace Chapel in this Denver suburb, told his evangelical congregation in a videotaped message he had had sexual relations with other men and was stepping down.

I expect to see a Colorado witch hunt soon, as evangelicals try to purge teh Ghey in their midst. It’s too bad; more gay pastors are just what evangelical Christianity needs. But this kind of conflict is inevitable in a philosophy that has to keep its intrinsic homo-ness at arm’s length. Christianity, at its core, is a religion that encourages love for a man. For women, being able to say “I love Jesus” is much easier than for straight Christian guys (of which there are a few). I know it was a bit jarring for me.

Can’t say it better than TRex:

Jesus Christ is the Elemental Boyfriend. Sensitive Jewish guy, big brown eyes, rich dad, and he loves you no matter what you do. He would die for you. And there he is, hanging (*cough*) out naked at the front of the church every week. You are encouraged to fasten your eyes upon his lithe, nude body and think about luuurrrrrve. Big lurrrrve. A lurrrrrrve that transcends time and even the bonds of death itself. It’s got to send some pretty confusing messages to those poor men’s limbic brains.

Christianity turns ya gay.

Anyone for soy burgers?

Today in Evil

The concept of divine justice took another blow today as former Chilean dictator Augusto Pinochet died surrounded by family, instead of being hung upside-down by his own intestines while having his flesh pecked by birds.

The War on Christmas continues apace. I know, it seems like I just took down my War on Christmas decorations from last year. This time the target is airports.

All 15 Christmas trees inside the terminal at Sea-Tac have been removed in response to a complaint by a rabbi.

A local rabbi wanted to install an 8-foot menorah and have a public lighting ceremony. He threatened to sue if the menorah wasn’t put up, and gave a two-day deadline to remove the trees.

People complain about atheists, but we’re really falling behind in the War. Our Jewish comrades are way ahead. But what can I say — I think a huge menorah would be lovely. And then you could have a Festivus pole, and a Kwanzaa kinara, and a big FSM decoration. I would be so down with that! And then the atheists could have a big empty space.

In other news, imagine how distressed I was to find that I am apparently not evil at all.

How evil are you?
Yes, well, that’s all very nice, but how am I to survive in a competitive world if I have no desire to crush the other guy?

This is why I decided not to go for Survivor. That and the spider-eating challenge.

Friday Random Five: The first time I heard…

Praise You by Fatboy Slim
Album: You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby
Just think, all the time Norman Cook was playing bass in the Housemartins, Fatboy Slim was lurking in his head. And the first time I heard ‘Rockafeller Skank’, I couldn’t decide whether it was the worst thing I’d ever heard or the best. A listen to the whole disc didn’t help. It was a badly-scratched library copy, and it kept skipping and repeating. Took me five minutes to figure it out.
However, you can’t help but enjoy the funky bass line, the bongos, and the oddly manipulated vocal on this track. Not to mention that the video features some of the best public dorky dancing ever committed to film. Who could dislike such an offering? The elderly and humourless, that’s who. Tell them I said that.

Pretty Good Year by Tori Amos
Album: Under the Pink
I first saw Tori Amos on Letterman doing “Crucify”. I thought, “Hmm, a new wave of Kate Bush’s musical heirs.” I’m not a huge fan of Tori’s bombastic keyboarding. Do I find such passion offputting?

Under the Cap by The Golden Palominos
Album: The Golden Palominos
Jeff got me into this one. I think his dad walked into Mirage Records in Spokane with no idea which record to get him for a present, and Brent Beever the Record Store Guy suggested this one. And what a fantastic choice. This is the first Golden Palominos record, pre-Michael Stipe. The personnel list reads like a Who’s Who of the Celluloid label. Arto Lindsay, Anton Fier, Bill Laswell, John Zorn; they’re all here, and they’re doing amazing and strange things with bird calls, proto-drum and bass, and improvised lyrics and howls. Find this and listen. You’ll be annoyed or inspired, but it says more about you than about the record.

Okinawa Song – Chin nuku Juishi by Ryuichi Sakamoto
Album: Neo Geo
A song (possibly a folk song) that combines unison female vocals with industrial noises and heavy rhythm. I don’t know why, but when I hear it, I immediately think of this still from “Red Detachment of Women“.

Getting Away with It (Raindance Mix) by Electronic
Album: Art of Mix Volume 4
So there I was doing homework one night in 1990, and this song was on MTV. “Dang,” I thought, because I wasn’t in a swearing stage, “this song sounds like the Pet Shop Boys.” Only to look up and find Neil Tennant’s face floating across the screen. Aha, I’d found the new supergroup. Johnny Marr from the Smiths, Bernard Sumner from New Order, and Neil from PSB. And wonderful string arrangements from Anne Dudley of the Art of Noise. Could this be the perfect band?

Disappointingly, no. My original theory was that it was too much Bernard and not enough Johnny, but then the later New Order albums sounded a lot better than any of Marr’s post-Smiths output. I honestly don’t know why the disc didn’t work. But this song does. A perfect slice of sophisticated pop. And this version from Art of Mix adds in clips from New Order songs, and the ‘beat’ vocal from PSB’s “Heart”. I respect it when a remixer drops in historically relevant samples.

Honk if you love bikinis, or just hate Muslims.

You may not have noticed when a prominent Islamic cleric proclaimed that women should cover up to avoid sexual attacks — perhaps in a burqa.

A Muslim cleric’s claim that women who do not wear the veil are like ‘uncovered meat‘ who attract sexual predators sparked outrage around Australia yesterday.

Accordingly, some Australian women decided to show the sheik what uncovered meat really looks like.

Enraged at the local mullahs’ medieval declaration that unveiled women are ‘uncovered meat,’ thousands of angry Australians will march on their mullah mosque Saturday to protest that declaration … in their bikinis.

It involves semi-nudity, and it will honk off authoritarian religious leaders… I’m for it.

Unfortunately, the Malkinistas are all over this as well, which makes me wonder if this protest is a good thing. I get the feeling these folks don’t see it as ‘human form v. oppressive ideology’; I think they see it as Australia v. Muslims. By design, it’s a very Australian light-hearted nose-thumbing, Tom Robbins-style. In practise, it could be an excuse for idiots to enjoy a protest on a mosque. Not productive. Don’t they just wreck everything?

Religion v. Ferret: Smackdown!

It seems that the LDS Church in Australia has joined the interfaith effort to control the weather using religion. PDF

The 116,000 members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are taking a unique approach to the recently declared National Day of Prayer for drought relief in Australia. They are dedicating their monthly fast, next scheduled for this Sunday 3rd December 2006, towards the effort.

Apparently, God, who controls the weather, would like to see people go hungry a bit before he looses the torrents. Quite a guy. The press release does not say whether he would like anyone to do the little dance.

Will it work? Well, if it rains somewhere in the next indefinite period, I’m sure they’ll claim a win. If it doesn’t, I’m equally sure that everyone will realise it, and say, “Well, that was ineffective!” Then they’ll give up on Christianity and become Wiccans and Scientologists. You watch.

There is ample scriptural encouragement for fasting in times of great need says the Australian Area President of the Church, Elder Paul K. Sybrowsky. He also points out references in the Old Testament where God’s people were invited to “humble themselves and pray” so that God may “heal [the] land” and once more bring rain to parched pastures (see 2 Chronicles 7:12-14; 1 Kings 8:35-36; and Leviticus 26:2-4).

Hmm, those Old Testament scriptures are looking crunchy. Let’s have a look at Chronicles:

If I shut up heaven that there be no rain, or if I command the locusts to devour the land, or if I send pestilence among my people;
If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

The lesson here: If there’s a drought, it’s because you were bad. You know it’s true. Fess up! I’m sure some Australian has done something wrong.

Of course, since people have always done superstitious things to try and control the weather, it’s nice to see modern-day Christianity keeping up the atavistic tradition. The problem, though, is that it is now the year 2000-freaking-six and people should be a little better informed about things like what causes rain. I say this, knowing that if it had been a couple of years ago, I could have been right there, believing it with the best of the faithful, and not thinking too hard about it.

But now I’ve learned. And I’m doing something constructive about Australia’s drought situation. Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce the Magical Wishing Ferret!


Eeep!

He’s not just cute, he’s consolation in a time of sadness. And he grants wishes. Except those relating to Photoshop skills.

And because I like a challenge, I propose an Elijah-style test. For the first week, the Mormons can do their thing: fast, pray, supplicate to their hearts’ content. Then, on the second week, it’s me and the MWF. Any rain that falls after next Sunday, you know who to thank.

UPDATE: Faith-based rain report: Tuesday. Fine and 27. God is not appeased. Keep praying. There’s an early shower due on Friday, but that’s hardly miraculous, is it? Never mind; all rainfall will be dutifully recorded.

Track the speed of a meme.

Your assignment:
Click here.
Do what it says. You’ll be helping Acephalous advance human knowledge. Somehow.

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