Good Reason

It's okay to be wrong. It's not okay to stay wrong.

Category: religion (page 35 of 36)

Prayer doesn’t work; no one notices.

Drought conditions persist in Australia, despite the prayers of many faithful Christians and the fasting of Latter-day Saints. Theologians are baffled as to the continuing refusal of God to assist, despite his omnipotence and allegedly benevolent nature. But the faithful have no shortage of reasons:

  1. God doesn’t have to prove anything to you, man! He created this planet!
  2. Well, often in scripture, things are meant to be understood spiritually and not physically. So God actually has alleviated our spiritual ‘drought’. With new convert baptisms. Heh.
  3. The important thing is not ending the drought. The important thing is to build faith in God. Which we can best accomplish by faith-promoting tests that don’t work.
  4. But he has ended the drought! It’s over! Can’t you see the rain falling? Come on, kids! Let’s put on our raincoats and splash in the puddles! Ha ha ha! Whoopee!
  5. I think some rain did fall in the mining regions. That should count.
  6. What are you talking about? No such fast was ever announced. Now let us never speak of this again.
  7. The rain will come in the Lord’s own time. We just need to be patient. The farmers won’t even need it until it’s time to plant. I’m sure the big guy will come through then.
  8. Isn’t God great? God’s so awesome! La la la! I can’t hear you!
  9. I think there was a fast a while ago, but the whole thing has entirely slipped my mind, and no one at church has ever mentioned it again.
  10. The Lord is testing our faith. Or Satan is tempting us. I’m not sure which — it’s awfully hard to tell the difference.
  11. Gee, I guess prayer doesn’t work. OW — crippling paradigm shift! Oh, the pain! That I could unsay those words! Aaargh… excruciating…

Both sound perfectly plausible.

From Married to the Sea:

Predictions for 2007

It seems Americans are optimistic about what’s to come in 2007, according to the latest Associated Press-AOL News Poll.

Oh, wait, no, they’re not.

That was quick! Either public opinion is more volatile than I thought, or the AP is covering its bases. Or it’s really true about glass-half-full and glass-half-empty people.

And now a quiz: What event did 25 percent of Americans think was likely to happen in the year 2007?
a) Gerald Ford will rise from the dead and form a synthesiser duo with James Brown
b) Donuts will rain from the sky, deliciously killing onlookers
c) Jesus Christ will return to earth
d) George Bush will admit he did something wrong

Oh, you guessed it. It was c).

None of these notions, in my view, is any less likely to happen than the others (except for d). Yet, all but c) would probably poll at less than one percent (counting perverse answers and Perot voters), while c) is believed by 25% of respondents. Think about that. Get four Americans in a room, and one of them thinks that Jesus is coming out of the sky this year.

Silly people! Everyone knows Jesus is coming back in the year 2437. It’ll take at least that long for the Apple sponsorship deal to come through.

Biblical literalism test

How much of a biblical literalist are you? Here’s how to find out.

I’m going to give you the names of some people in the Bible, and for each of them, assign a number according to the following scheme:

0 points: This person almost certainly did not exist.
1 point: This person probably existed, but elements of their life may have been fictionalised or allegorised in the Bible.
2 points: This person existed more or less as depicted in the Bible.

Here’s the list of people.

  • Job
  • Adam/Eve
  • Moses
  • Jesus
  • Paul

Add them all up. I’d say 9+ would be pretty orthodox; you probably had doubts about Job, didn’t you? For shame.

Seven or eight, and you’re hanging in there, but I have to warn you that you’re venturing into apostasy territory. I mean, why accept Moses as a real person and not Adam and Eve? It’s all there in the book.

Anything under four, and you’re not very orthodox at all.

Admittedly, this test is best for sorting out levels of literalism at the top end.

Three more things you should buy for Christmas

This born-again Atheist would like to wish everyone in the world a happy and secular Christmas. I did everything I wanted to this year. I put up the tree, sang Bach’s Christmas Oratorio and Handel’s Messiah, had a huge Christmas luncheon, and got a hug from a boy who got a Nintendo DS for his Big Present. It was great.

But there are a few things I’m going to buy, and I think you should too.

1) A Flying Spaghetti Monster ornament for the tree. Yes, I know it’s a car decoration. Adapt it — tie some string on it or something!

2) A mosquito net. People are dying from malaria, and 10 lousy bucks could buy a net and save a life.

Hat tip to Connor.

3) I can’t think of a third thing. Help me out, people. What’s worth spending money on?

Rain update: God v. Magical Wishing Ferret

Here are the preliminary results from the God/Ferret face-off, in which we ask the musical question: Which supernatural method is most likely to bring rains to a parched and thirsty land?

Week one, God

Method: Fasting and praying.
Rainfall: Piddling.

Week two, Magical Wishing Ferret

Meep!

Method: Making a wish, rubbing the spot on your monitor where his cute tummy is, giving Daniel chocolate.
Rainfall: Trifling.

It’s a wash.

But I’ve figured out why. I have had it revealed that in order for the MWF to work, you must not believe in him. Anyone exercises faith in him in the least degree, and all bets are off. Please do not believe in the Magical Wishing Ferret. You may leave expressions of your lack of faith in the MWF in comments. Thank you.

There. That ought to do something.

The Anglican schism

I’ve never been Anglican, but I notice with some interest the agonising struggles of the Episcopal Church in the USA.

Two of the most prominent and largest Episcopal parishes in Virginia voted overwhelmingly Sunday to leave The Episcopal Church and join fellow Anglican conservatives forming a rival denomination in the U.S.

Truro Church in Fairfax and The Falls Church in Falls Church plan to place themselves under the leadership of Anglican Archbishop Peter Akinola of Nigeria, who has called the growing acceptance of gay relationships a ”satanic attack” on the church.

Religious issues like this are notoriously intractable. I’d say it’s because of the non-falsifiable nature of religious belief systems. You can’t rely on observation as in the sciences; the only recourse is woefully ambiguous scripture and ‘feelings’ disguised as revelation.

There are stubborn issues that come up in the sciences, too; the nature/nurture debate and the free will/determinism debate are two that I can think of readily. And scientists do tend to split up into opposing camps over these philosophical stances. But real scientific notions are testable and falsifiable, and issues surrounding them can be settled experimentally. And scientists don’t go to war over them, or suffer the kind of schisms that the Episcopalians are undergoing.

Perhaps another reason that we see this happening over and over in religious beliefs is their non-negotiable nature. A quote from “Some Reasons Why” by Robert Ingersoll:

Whenever a man believes that he has the exact truth from God, there is in that man no spirit of compromise. He has not the modesty born of the imperfections of human nature; he has the arrogance of theological certainty and the tyranny born of ignorant assurance. Believing himself to be the slave of God, he imitates his master, and of all tyrants, the worst is a slave in power.

How could you negotiate when you think God has said ‘X’ and someone else claims she said ‘Y’? Hence the ‘satanic attack’ talk.

It’s the reason I became agnostic on the nature/nurture debate. As an atheist, I have no interest in substituting “God” in the above paragraph with “Chomsky” or anyone else. Sure, I have an opinion, but I keep reminding myself that it’s not a falsifiable area. So I try not to get too committed about it. It’s wise to hold off and say, “That’s interesting” on these unverifiable issues.

UPDATE: I’m such a naïf, I really am. Here I was assuming that this was the result of an honest but heart-wrenching struggle between good people who disagreed. It seems that six years of Bush wasn’t enough to teach me what I learned from a Morrissey lyric years ago: there are some bad people on the right. Let’s have a second read about that Nigerian archbishop who’s behind the schism.

In Virginia, the two large churches are voting on whether they want to report to the powerful archbishop of Nigeria, Peter Akinola, an outspoken opponent of homosexuality who supports legislation in his country that would make it illegal for gay men and lesbians to form organizations, read gay literature or eat together in a restaurant.

Thank the FSM he’s not in government, ahem.

And from the incomparable Digby:

[T]his highlights something that’s going on in the world of religion that I don’t think most people are aware of: the right is systematically attacking the liberal churches from within.

For instance, it so happens that the ever so mainline Episcopal church has been under assault from big money wingnuts for some time.

I recommend reading the rest.

Homosexuality is going to be more and more acceptable as time goes on. It’s going to happen, just as equal rights for people of all colours has become an ‘accepted’ (if not yet actual) cultural norm. This new conservative Episcopalian church has decided that the most important thing they could do is to fight teh Ghey, even more important than holding the church together. If that isn’t reprehensible…. As the tide of gay acceptance moves forward, liberal congregations will have less discomfort adapting, whereas these conservative ones will struggle to isolate themselves and suffer agonies of conscience before eventually changing or being swept into irrelevance. In the meantime, they’ll do real harm to people.

Christianist comes out against democracy

‘Ten Commandments’ judge Roy Moore takes a stand against a democratically-elected congressman, and says that only Christians should be allowed to lead the country.

Muslim Ellison should not sit in Congress

Last month Keith (Hakim Mohammad) Ellison of Minnesota became the first Muslim elected to serve in the United States Congress and shocked many Americans by declaring that he would take his oath of office by placing his hand on the Quran rather than the Bible. Can a true believer in the Islamic doctrine found in the Quran swear allegiance to our Constitution? Those who profess a sincere belief in Allah say “no!”

It’s the zombie meme that wouldn’t die. Congresspeople don’t take an oath on any book.

To support the Constitution of the United States one must uphold an underlying principle of that document, liberty of conscience, which is the right of every person to worship God according to the dictates of his conscience, without interference by the government.

Sounds good so far. So what’s Moore’s problem with Ellison doing just that?

It was a specific God who endowed us with a freedom of conscience with which government could not interfere.

The Islamic faith rejects our God and believes that the state must mandate the worship of its own god, Allah.

But it’s okay to mandate the worship of the Christian god, because the Christian one gave us freedom of conscience. But then we’re not free to exercise it. But we’re free to worship the Christian God who gave us freedom of conscience to let other people force us to worship him. Is this one of those paradoxes, like the barber who only shaves every man who doesn’t shave himself? My head is spinning.

Even though it’s frustrating having Christianists around, it’s good to see them showing their true colours. It’s they who reject the constitution and seek to force everyone to worship their god. Freedom of religion means their freedom and their religion, not yours. Freedom of conscience means their freedom to control your conscience. Reproductive rights means their right to control your reproduction. And now freedom to vote means freedom to vote for who they think is suitable.

Bet he’s gay.

Soy made a man out of me

An article about soy is causing a stir over at Wing Nut Daily:

A devil food is turning our kids into homosexuals

The dangerous food I’m speaking of is soy.

Soy is feminizing, and commonly leads to a decrease in the size of the penis, sexual confusion and homosexuality.

Well, not that commonly in my case. I’m all over the soy, and

(checks)

haven’t experienced any of what he’s talking about. Evidently he’s concerned that increased soy intake will turn you into this guy:
Dancing shirtless with Dylan. Wooot!

PZ from Pharyngula plows through PubMed and concludes

There doesn’t seem to be any strong evidence that eating tofu will turn your sons into girlie-boys, I’m afraid; there are better grounds to be concerned about known endocrine disruptors like atrazine and PCBs.

But then the WND folks aren’t great on the science. An astute commenter points out that if there’s overwhelming scientific evidence for evolution or global warming, they ignore it, but one poxy article titled ‘Soy Turns Ya Gay’, and they’re all a-twitter. Gayness is the thing they most fear. It strikes at the center of their sense of identity. Have a look at these ads that loaded up when I got the WND page. It’s like a psychological composite of the inner mind of wingnut Christianism.


The gun phallus.


The fear of any sex that doesn’t involve man dominating woman. All that, and a picture of Chuck Norris. There’s a real cocktail of emotions here; a heady blend of sex, fear, machismo, monstrous insecurity, and itchy trigger fingers.

But it seems to me that if we’re trying to avoid the ever-spiraling Gay, we shouldn’t be concerned about the feminising effect of soy. We should be worried about the feminising effects of Christianity.

The founding pastor of a second Colorado church has resigned over gay sex allegations, just weeks after the evangelical community was shaken by the scandal surrounding megachurch leader Ted Haggard.

On Sunday, Paul Barnes, founding pastor of the 2,100-member Grace Chapel in this Denver suburb, told his evangelical congregation in a videotaped message he had had sexual relations with other men and was stepping down.

I expect to see a Colorado witch hunt soon, as evangelicals try to purge teh Ghey in their midst. It’s too bad; more gay pastors are just what evangelical Christianity needs. But this kind of conflict is inevitable in a philosophy that has to keep its intrinsic homo-ness at arm’s length. Christianity, at its core, is a religion that encourages love for a man. For women, being able to say “I love Jesus” is much easier than for straight Christian guys (of which there are a few). I know it was a bit jarring for me.

Can’t say it better than TRex:

Jesus Christ is the Elemental Boyfriend. Sensitive Jewish guy, big brown eyes, rich dad, and he loves you no matter what you do. He would die for you. And there he is, hanging (*cough*) out naked at the front of the church every week. You are encouraged to fasten your eyes upon his lithe, nude body and think about luuurrrrrve. Big lurrrrve. A lurrrrrrve that transcends time and even the bonds of death itself. It’s got to send some pretty confusing messages to those poor men’s limbic brains.

Christianity turns ya gay.

Anyone for soy burgers?

Religion v. Ferret: Smackdown!

It seems that the LDS Church in Australia has joined the interfaith effort to control the weather using religion. PDF

The 116,000 members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are taking a unique approach to the recently declared National Day of Prayer for drought relief in Australia. They are dedicating their monthly fast, next scheduled for this Sunday 3rd December 2006, towards the effort.

Apparently, God, who controls the weather, would like to see people go hungry a bit before he looses the torrents. Quite a guy. The press release does not say whether he would like anyone to do the little dance.

Will it work? Well, if it rains somewhere in the next indefinite period, I’m sure they’ll claim a win. If it doesn’t, I’m equally sure that everyone will realise it, and say, “Well, that was ineffective!” Then they’ll give up on Christianity and become Wiccans and Scientologists. You watch.

There is ample scriptural encouragement for fasting in times of great need says the Australian Area President of the Church, Elder Paul K. Sybrowsky. He also points out references in the Old Testament where God’s people were invited to “humble themselves and pray” so that God may “heal [the] land” and once more bring rain to parched pastures (see 2 Chronicles 7:12-14; 1 Kings 8:35-36; and Leviticus 26:2-4).

Hmm, those Old Testament scriptures are looking crunchy. Let’s have a look at Chronicles:

If I shut up heaven that there be no rain, or if I command the locusts to devour the land, or if I send pestilence among my people;
If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

The lesson here: If there’s a drought, it’s because you were bad. You know it’s true. Fess up! I’m sure some Australian has done something wrong.

Of course, since people have always done superstitious things to try and control the weather, it’s nice to see modern-day Christianity keeping up the atavistic tradition. The problem, though, is that it is now the year 2000-freaking-six and people should be a little better informed about things like what causes rain. I say this, knowing that if it had been a couple of years ago, I could have been right there, believing it with the best of the faithful, and not thinking too hard about it.

But now I’ve learned. And I’m doing something constructive about Australia’s drought situation. Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce the Magical Wishing Ferret!


Eeep!

He’s not just cute, he’s consolation in a time of sadness. And he grants wishes. Except those relating to Photoshop skills.

And because I like a challenge, I propose an Elijah-style test. For the first week, the Mormons can do their thing: fast, pray, supplicate to their hearts’ content. Then, on the second week, it’s me and the MWF. Any rain that falls after next Sunday, you know who to thank.

UPDATE: Faith-based rain report: Tuesday. Fine and 27. God is not appeased. Keep praying. There’s an early shower due on Friday, but that’s hardly miraculous, is it? Never mind; all rainfall will be dutifully recorded.

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