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Dismissing Book of Mormon problems

I’ve been reading the work of one Michael R. Ash, an apologist with the Mormon Times. He may have overcome ‘shaken faith syndrome’, but he’s made the mistake of embracing the more dangerous ‘True Believer syndrome’ — a troublesome but common condition that involves the epistemological gymnastics you perform when you’ve decided to defend a belief system no matter what, instead of trying to find out what’s actually true.

In his latest posting, he tries not to advance a theory of Book of Mormon geography — that would require the use of pesky facts — but instead to dismiss inaccuracies in Book of Mormon geography. The title: ‘Dismissing Book of Mormon geography inaccuracies‘.

One issue that relates in important ways to Book of Mormon geography is the human composition of the ancient Americas. The traditional LDS folk-belief asserts that the Lehites arrived to a nearly vacant New World, with the possible exception of some Jaredite survivors and the Mulekites. This tradition implies that virtually all Native Americans are descendants of exclusively Book of Mormon peoples.

Folk-belief. I remember LDS folk-belief, but it was always stuff like “If you’re fat, you’ll be resurrected as a fat person.” or “An elephant’s spirit looks like an elephant.” Can it still be folk-doctrine if it’s in the scriptures? Or taught by Joseph Smith, or someone else that you could be accused of apostasy if you ignore. Well, to Mr Ash, if a prophet said it, and then reality contradicts it, the prophet wasn’t wrong — it was ‘folk-belief’ all along.

I must say, I find his approach a bit prestidigitatious. Like cherry-picking in reverse.

Okay, so how did Mormons get the silly idea that place was vacant except for migrating Hebrews?

1. The Book of Mormon narrative never mentions anyone but the putative Hebrew inhabitants. If the place was crawling with people before any Hebrews arrived, the Mulekites and Nephites never ran across them.

2. The Book of Mormon explicitly states that the knowledge of the land was kept from other people.

And behold, it is wisdom that this land should be kept as yet from the knowledge of other nations; for behold, many nations would overrun the land, that there would be no place for an inheritance.

3. Church leaders taught it. Two examples of many:

“We beleive that the existing Indian tribes are all direct descendants of Lehi and his company, and that therefore they have sprung from men all of whom were of the house of Israel.”
– Apostle James E. Talmage, The Articles of Faith, p.293

“With pride I tell those who come to my office that a Lamanite is a descendant of one Lehi who left Jerusalem some 600 years before Christ and with his family crossed the mighty deep and landed in America. And Lehi and his family became the ancestors of all of the Indian and Mestizo tribes in North and South and Central America and in the islands of the sea, for in the middle of their history there were those who left America in ships of their making and went to the islands of the sea.” Spencer W. Kimball, “Of Royal Blood,” Ensign, July 1971

Were they wrong? Mormon apologists like Ash would like us to think so (and in fact I agree, but for different reasons). But if Mormon leaders are considered to be authoritative on many other matters pertaining to Mormon doctrine, doesn’t it seem a bit convenient to downplay only some of the things they say just because they’ve been refuted by evidence?

Back to the article.

Early American settlers were fascinated with the fact that the New World was already inhabited by indigenous people. From where did these people originate? A number of frontiersman theorized that the Indians were remnants of the ten lost tribes of Israel. At first blush, this theory seemed to fit fairly well with the overall story of the Book of Mormon, however, the Book of Mormon peoples did not purport to come from any of the “lost tribes.

More sleight of hand. It’s true that the Book of Mormon doesn’t say they’re from the ‘lost tribes’, but it does say that they’re Hebrews. And if that’s the case, why don’t we see (for example) Hebrew or Egyptian writing on artifacts, any evidence of sacrifices pertaining to the Mosaic law, or any evidence from genetics, linguistics, anthropology, or archaeology?

If Mr Ash wants to do something useful and advance knowledge, he can come out and give his list of the most likely candidate sites for any aspect of Book of Mormon geography, according to the best evidence we have. If he can get his work published in a peer-reviewed journal, so much the better. But I doubt he will. Apologists don’t try to advance ideas. They just try to hide from the facts, take refuge in uncertainty, sing the faithful to sleep, and scrub the record of any statements from authorities that have turned out to be wrong.

Missionary chats: What finally did it?

I was talking to one of the Elders. Smart guy. He was aware of the difficulty of trying to believe something that doesn’t mesh. I think lots of missionaries feel that way.

Let’s say your faith is like a building, and you find a problem with the doctrine. You don’t want to trash the whole building, so you build around the problem. But after doing this for a long while, the structure begins to look rather byzantine and arcane. And haphazard. He called it ‘Spiritual Jenga’, which I quite liked.

He asked me, “So what was it that finally did it for you?”

I explained that it was a cumulative process. I became aware of cracks in the plaster, then more and more structural problems until the whole thing came down, despite my best efforts.

“But was there one thing?” he asked.

Well, there was, but it was going to sound stupid.

“Go ahead,” he said.

It was the Tower of Babel.

I’m a linguist, and the idea that all human language diversity came about in the last X-thousand years is not really plausible. The Babel story is clearly a legend to explain the diversity of languages. Lots of cultures have these myths.

But if you’re a Latter-day Saint, you can’t excuse it by saying it’s figurative. According to the Book of Mormon, the Brother of Jared was a real person who was there at the time, and got his family and friends out. The Book of Ether follows their exploits to the New World. You can’t dismiss it. You have to take it as literally as anything in the Book of Mormon.

Well, that pushed the by-now-rickety Spiritual Jenga tower over like a big clumsy housecat. It was a clear and irreconcilable case of Something Not Fitting. It was wrong, and I could see that it was wrong, and there was no way around it.

And even if you’re not a Mormon, you’re not off the hook. Is the Tower of Babel literal or figurative? If it’s literal, where’s the evidence? If it’s figurative, how do you know that? After all, it’s presented as factually as anything in the Bible. What else is figurative? Moses and the Red Sea? Walking on water? The resurrection? If you don’t believe in those things literally, then you have a lot in common with this atheist.

So that was it.

How about you?

Bibles for porn

A pretty edgy idea from Atheist Agenda at the University of Texas at San Antonio: Smut for Smut!

The concept: Trade in a holy book, and get some porn! I think it’s brilliant. Get those Bibles, Qur’ans, and Hubbard books off the streets where they’ll just harm somebody. Those things are full of the most vile misogyny, sex, and violence.

Pornography on the other hand, while not wonderful, is at least better than religion in a few important aspects:

  • Nobody pretends that a god is behind their porn, and that if you don’t accept it, you’ll be damned.
  • Nobody’s ever had a holy war over what kind of porn is better.
  • Nobody tries to legislate other people’s behaviour on the basis of their pornographic values.
  • Unlike religion, there are laws against exposing people to porn if they’re too young for it.

Theologians of the week

Here are some stories of faith from the news this week. I won’t say they’re heart-warming, but they will raise your temperature.

Miss Beverly Hills 2010 Lauren Ashley reminded us that yes, the Bible really does say that gay men should be killed.

“The Bible says that marriage is between a man and a woman. In Leviticus it says, ‘If man lies with mankind as he would lie with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They shall surely be put to death and their blood shall be upon them.’ The Bible is pretty black and white.”

By Jove, she’s right. Of course, Deuteronomy says that you should kill anyone not of your religion. Wonder why she didn’t mention that?

Well, even though she didn’t take it all the way, you must admire her courage in not soft-pedaling her holy book.

• Evangelical Christians in Haiti attack a vodou ceremony, and the vodou leader is not pleased.

Some of the fresh converts have said they did so because they believed God caused the earthquake.

“It will be war – open war,” Max Beauvoir, supreme head of Haitian voodoo, said in an interview at his home and temple outside the capital.

“It’s unfortunate that at this moment where everybody’s suffering, that they have to go into war. But if that is what they need, I think that is what they’ll get.”


“I would like to see each one of them tied up in ropes and thrown in the sea, and I hope the best of them will be able to catch a plane and run away and leave in peace,” the voodoo priest said. “Because this is what we need right now — peace.”

Which is more notable: the Haitians Christians for their commitment to religious tolerance? or Mr Beauvoir for his dedication to the cause of peace?

• A Christian couple in California is up for murder for killing their daughter, who challenged their god-given authority by mispronouncing words from a book she was reading.

Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz, the Paradise couple accused of murdering their 7-year-old adopted daughter during a discipline session last Saturday morning were arraigned in court Tuesday. The couple is also charged with the torture of their 11-year-old adopted daughter, who remains in critical condition at a Sacramento hospital, and a misdemeanor count of cruelty to a child for signs of bruising discovered on their 10-year-old biological son.

Butte County District Attorney Mike Ramsey said both girls sustained extensive bruising and whip-like marks on their bodies that were consistent with a 15-inch length of rubber or flexible plastic tubing – commonly found in toilet tanks.

This method of discipline is favoured by Michael Pearl of the ‘No Greater Joy‘ ministry. From the Pearl link:

This is a practical look at spanking children. Parents must understand that spanking is just one element in God’s child training program. It is essential, but is not the whole—only a part. Nor is it the most important part. Important yes, but not all-important.

What instrument would I use?
As a rule, do not use your hand. Hands are for loving and helping. If an adult swings his or her hand fast enough to cause pain to the surface of the skin, there is a danger of damaging bones and joints. The most painful nerves are just under the surface of the skin. A swift swat with a light, flexible instrument will sting without bruising or causing internal damage. Many people are using a section of ¼ inch plumber’s supply line as a spanking instrument. It will fit in your purse or hang around you neck. You can buy them for under $1.00 at Home Depot or any hardware store. They come cheaper by the dozen and can be widely distributed in every room and vehicle. Just the high profile of their accessibility keeps the kids in line.

Pearl (and the Schatz’s) is only following the biblical doctrine that if you train a child up in the way they should go, they will not depart from it. Also, that children need to submit to ‘the rod’ — after all, they won’t die (unless they do), and you’ll save their soul from hell. If a parent needs to give their children regular thrashings so they’ll continue in the religion of their parents — well, this simply shows the difficulty of raising godly children in these secular times.

If you’re interested in NGJ Ministries, why not check out their Facebook group?

• Also in parenting news, a Baltimore mom is on the stand for starving her one-year-old for not saying ‘amen’ at a mealtime prayer. You wouldn’t think a child that age would be saying much at all, but it took a perceptive religious leader to notice that the child had an evil spirit.

Ramkissoon told the tale of her son’s excruciating death from the witness stand on Wednesday, at the trial of the woman she says told her not to feed the boy. Queen Antoinette was the leader of a small religious cult, according to police and prosecutors, and she faces murder charges alongside her daughter, Trevia Williams, and another follower, Marcus A. Cobbs.

Many parents have let their children die for lack of medical treatment due to their religion, but this story stands out for the mother’s unquestioning faith that her baby could be raised back to life, New Testament-style.

Javon died in either December 2006 or January 2007; Ramkissoon isn’t sure of the exact date. His body was hidden in a suitcase for more than a year and has since been buried. But even now, she maintains her faith in his resurrection.

“I still believe that my son is coming back,” Ramkissoon said. “I have no problem saying what really happened because I believe he’s coming back.

“Queen said God told her he would come back. I believe it. I choose to believe it,” she said. “Even now, despite everything, I choose to believe it for my reasons.”

Later, she acknowledged that her faith makes her sound crazy. “I don’t have a problem sounding crazy in court,” she said.

Even though the sunk-cost fallacy virtually ensures that the mother will never break free of her delusion, she makes the list for her devotion and unquestioning faith in her religious leader and the healing power of the resurrection.

We’ll be back with even more stories of faith in the near future.

Universities don’t take religions seriously!

I teach at a university. I try to teach students to think well. That means I teach about critical thinking skills, using evidence to support claims, and controlling for bias. (And I hope I don’t forget to exercise those skills myself.)

There are also many people at the university whose job is to teach students to think badly. These are mainly religious groups that regularly encourage reliance on unseen spiritual beings, emotional reasoning, and not challenging deeply-held beliefs.

Dallin H. Oaks is a Mormon apostle. He spoke to Harvard grads recently, and tried to encourage them to think badly. Let’s see how he did this.

1. Insulting secular Americans

Elder Oaks acknowledged that LDS doctrines and values are not widely understood by those not of the LDS faith, and said that his disappointment with that “is only slightly reduced” by research that shows “that on the subject of religion Americans in general are ‘deeply religious’ but ‘profoundly ignorant.'”

By ‘ignorant’, he apparently means ‘someone who has failed to study and/or agree with Mormon doctrine’.

If people are ignorant about religion, doesn’t that mean that churches haven’t done a good enough job teaching it? Sorry, Mr Oaks. Teaching religion is your job. Don’t expect universities to reaffirm your preconceptions.

2. Denouncing universities for not promoting superstition

Elder Oaks said the higher education system was partly to blame for prevailing ignorance about many aspects of Christianity and other religions.

“Many factors contribute to our people’s predominant shallowness on the subject of religion, but one of them is surely higher education’s general hostility or indifference to religion,” he said. “Despite most colleges’ and universities’ founding purpose to produce clergymen and to educate in the truths taught in their chapels, most have now abandoned their role of teaching religion.

I think univerties have pumped out quite enough clergymen, don’t you?

“With but few exceptions, colleges and universities have become value-free places where attitudes toward religion are neutral at best. Some faculty and administrators are powerful contributors to the forces that are driving religion to the margins of American society. Students and other religious people who believe in the living reality of God and moral absolutes are being marginalized.

Universities aren’t positive enough about religion? That’s the best news I’ve heard all week. Universities should marginalise bronze-age mythologies as much as possible. Why should the people wearing the clown-shoes be taken seriously?

3. Elevating scripture and revelation as superior to empirical knowledge.

Elder Oaks said he chose “three clusters of truths to present as fundamental premises of the faith of Latter-day Saints.” Those clusters are:

  • The nature of God, including the role of the three members of the Godhead, and the corollary truth that there are moral absolutes.
  • The purpose of life.
  • The three-fold sources of truth about man and the universe: science, the scriptures and continuing revelation, and how we can know them.

Notice how religion takes up two of the three top spots?

I understand Oaks wanting to spread the word about how great his religion is — a religion whose members view him as an incontestable authority, by the way. He’s supposed to promote his religion. It’s part of the business. But Oaks is barking up the wrong tree if he expects universities to accommodate religions when religions add nothing to the store of human knowledge. All they offer is big stories, and when you challenge the story-tellers to offer evidence, they take refuge in uncertainty, and teach poor reasoning as a protective device. And, it would seem, holler loudly about how educated people just don’t take them seriously.

Religion makes no contribution to these places of science that we call universities. But as Matthew Cobb and Jerry Coyne point out, science can contribute something to religious thought: atheism.

Oh, I really meant to say that agnostics are nicer.

Homeopathy on the rocks at last in Britain

Good news from the UK: a British governmental committee agrees that homeopathy is rubbish, and shouldn’t be funded.

The NHS should stop funding homeopathy, MPs say.

The House of Commons Science and Technology Committee said using public money on the highly-diluted remedies could not be justified.

The cross-party group said there was no evidence beyond a placebo effect, when a patient gets better because of their belief that the treatment works.

I’m glad they decided that placebos aren’t good enough. Homeopathy has had a privileged place in Britain for far too long.

And my schadenfruede is off the charts. Let’s hear from the quacks.

Robert Wilson, of the British Association of Homeopathic Manufacturers, said he was “disappointed” by the findings.

He said the MPs had ignored evidence that homeopathy was effective.

“There is good evidence that homeopathy works, for example in animals and babies, neither of which experience placebo effects.”

Wrong. Animals and babies don’t experience placebo effects, but judgments about how the animal or baby feels are made by caregivers, who are susceptible to the placebo effect.

And Dr Michael Dixon, medical director for the Prince’s Foundation for Integrated Health, set up by Prince Charles to promote complementary medicine, disputed the findings, saying homeopathy still had a role in the NHS.

“We should not abandon patients we cannot help with conventional scientific medicine.

“If homeopathy is getting results for those patients, then of course we should continue to use it.”

Homeopathy is not getting results. That’s the point, dipstick.

There’s no down-side to this. Public money will be saved, or perhaps used for treatments that actually work. Patients will be better served, since they’ll get real medicines instead of fake ones. And the fakes will have a harder time plying their phony trade.

More font sightings

My typefaces keep popping up.

Yataghan is still popular in the fantasy genre. I’ve just noticed that it’s been used for the UK editions of the Treason’s Heir series.

You can download Yataghan here.

And the Daniel font keeps going. It makes an appearance on a book jacket — The Jeremy – Snaps of the Dragon by Jo S. Wun. Click on the link above the main image to see the back of the jacket — that’s where the text is.

And Daniel Black is everywhere on the CanHaveGifts website. No, I mean, it’s all over the site — they’ve used CSS3 to include it as actual text, not graphics. Have a look!

You can download the Daniel font here.

Back in your closets

Sometimes I look at what’s going on in America and I shake my head. I suppose that’s why those bobble-head dolls are so popular there. If you had to all that head-shaking yourself, your neck would break, so it’s nice to have a machine to do it for you.

It seems that having prayer meetings at coffee shops is now a popular and ostentatious way for religious believers to flaunt their holiness.

If I saw that going on, I’d introduce them to Matthew:

6:5 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

6:6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

Christians interpreting their scriptures selectively? Shocked I am! Shocked, I tells ya!

Deluded people belong in one of two places: a mental hospital or a church. No need to pester the rest of us with their bizarre and aberrant hobby.

Does this mean god doesn’t come with Flash?

I think the iPad looks cool, but I wouldn’t exactly say it’s proof of God.

On the other hand, who am I to argue with an expert?

Sure, we were as surprised as you are! But trust us, everyone who tested the sleek gadget saw the same version of God. I guess you’d call it an epiphany or something. There is a God. Don’t worry. When you get one, you’ll understand.

For this reason alone, we give the iPad four out of five stars. Yes, this next generation device has a highly responsive user interface and a gorgeous display screen. But, no one is really sure how to live, or if there’s even a reason for living any more. We look forward to seeing if Apple addresses this bug in later versions.

I’m not sure about her conclusions, but I was rather surprised to learn that Hinduism is Bluetooth ready.

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