Good Reason

It's okay to be wrong. It's not okay to stay wrong.

Category: post (page 117 of 125)

Very bad words

I saw this ordered list of the most offensive words for British English speakers.

I asked the ABC, Australia’s government TV station, if they’d done any research on which were the worst swear words in Australia. This prim message came to the inbox this morning.

The ABC has not conducted research about the words Australians find offensive. The ABC’s programs are classified in accordance with Office and Film Literature Classification guidelines, http://www.oflc.gov.au/special.html. Please be assured your suggestion has been noted. Thank you for taking the time to write.

What a shame. If only someone had taken the time to find out, we wouldn’t have had fiascos like this.

I can think of a few more words that weren’t on the BBC list. If you get an ARC grant to do this research, you can hire me as a consultant, and I’ll swear at you for a while. Anything for science.

Conservatives to left-handed dyslexic Asians: you’re next.

Let’s take a look, shall we, at the groups that have been demonised in recent years by conservatives.

Arabs? Check. (And Australia is not to be outdone.)

Liberals? Check.

Blacks? How could you not? Check. And check.

Gays? Check, and then some.

Women? Well, not certain women. But single moms, check. Moms on welfare, check. In fact, it seems that every mother but their own is fair game.

The Judiciary? Check.

The media? Check. (See also ‘Liberals’.)

Liberals? Check again.

Environmentalists? Check.

Latinos? Cheque. Cheque.

Every other country in the world? Check, and double-check.

What can we say for a group of people that habitually turns ordinary people into targets for their unquenchable hostility? I’m no psychologist, but I’d say that it just isn’t healthy to be walking around with that much free-floating rage, especially in a country where guns are readily available. But the right-wing machine needs fresh meat every once in a while to keep its strength up, and if you haven’t been It lately, you’re probably next.

A joke I remember as a kid went like this:

How do you deal with a really dumb bully?
Put him in a room and let him beat himself up.

I just hope that once they’ve been through the list a few times, they’ll turn on each other. Very likely it’ll start with a patriotism contest that gets out of control.

Immigration ‘debate’

Latinos are standing up to the ugliness of what passes for America’s immigration debate.

After seeing about a hundred different instances of right-wing racist freaks trying to find an enemy in order to galvanise their base, you get pretty good at spotting it, and I’m spotting it now.

In our current economic system, if you’re not growing as fast as everyone else, you’re shrinking. So sellers have to do whatever they can to grow — grow their markets, grow their profits. If they have to sell toys and TV shows to ever-younger markets, they’ll do it. If they have to get us to fight each other for ever-shrinking paychecks, then that’s what the market demands.

And so when people ask, “Who’s going to do the jobs no one else wants to do?”, we now have the answer from Rep. Dana Rohrabacher (R-CA): “I say let the prisoners pick the fruits.”

Well, of course. Money for nothing. And jobs are subtracted from the market. Tom Tomorrow called this one ten years ago.

You get to feed the racist beast, and screw the workers at the same time. Ain’t it grand being a Republican?

Random post

Outrageous things are happening right now. And I’m here working on a Java project. So posting’s light, whether Iran gets bombed or not. But here are things that are on my mind now:

Have fun while shopping!

Conversations with the Prophet: Evidence

Prophets in the Old Testament were crazy guys. Here’s the Priest, keeping everybody in line and happy, and the Prophet would come out of nowhere, blasting their comfort and telling them they weren’t looking after the widows and fatherless, just as bad as Sodom, and what not. No wonder so many of them got killed. Or maybe it’s because, then as now, people didn’t have very good attitudes toward the mentally ill.

I know a Prophet sort of guy. He doesn’t mind nettling the authorities. He claims to have extraordinary spiritual experiences. And, if I may say, he is crazy.

“No, I really wish you wouldn’t,” I say.

“But I want to,” he says.

“No, don’t,” I say. “You’ll tell me some great spiritual story, and I’ll crap all over it and say it’s all in your head, and I don’t like doing that. It’s not fun for me.

“And unfortunately, I already know what I’m going to say, because I’ve had this conversation before.”

“What’s that?” he asks.

“I’ll tell you that your experience is important to you, but it’s anecdotal, and I’m not able to evaluate your experiences. I’d also say that feelings and experiences are not valid evidence. Evidence comes from empirical and repeatable observation, not faith.”

“What if someone told you they’d seen an angel or had a vision where God talked to them?” he said.

“Then I’d try to get them the help they needed so that they wouldn’t hurt themselves — or anyone foolish enough to believe them.”

He thinks and says, “Okay, but you can explain away anything. Are you sure you’re not just rejecting all spiritual evidence that could make you believe? What would qualify as evidence, in your view? If not your own feelings or experiences, then what?

“What if an angel appeared to you? Would that convince you?”

Well, there I was. I sometimes say I’d change my mind if I had a good reason. An angel would be pretty striking. If I say ‘no’, aren’t I really saying I wouldn’t accept any evidence, even the most miraculous? I’ve accepted scientific ideas on much flimsier evidence than what my own eyes have seen.

And yet, if the hypothetical angel did appear, it could be a hallucination. I’m not prone to hallucinating angels, or much of anything else — surely I’m not a credulous nincompoop like all those other people, right? And yet I’ve been wrong before.

But what if it wasn’t just my experience? What if I could submit the experience to critical review, and it still stood up?

And that was really the answer. If I saw an angel, I’d ask it to stick around while I get photos and video. It’d have to be an unambiguous angel and not an image on a wall or a face on toast. I’d need corroboration from some other observers besides myself. We’d need multiple sightings, under different conditions.

But angels never do that, do they? They’re shy of groups. They only ever appear to one person (or perhaps a select group of believers), under irreproducible circumstances. Just like UFOs. Angels and UFOs are both a kind of jealous phenomena, as I discussed in an earlier post.

Experiences are what our lives are made up of. It’s hard to see why they can be unreliable or even just made up. My experiences are meaningful to me, but I need to remember that I can be fooled. I could manufacture feelings or hallucinate angels if it were important enough to me to be able to do so. In this way, faith obscures.

Do as Australia do.

“Language technology, eh? Are you going to fix Word’s grammar checker?” asked the technical writer.

No; I hate grammar checkers.

“Me, too. This one’s stupid. It flags good sentences, like ‘the staff’.”

The staff?

“You know, like I write ‘The staff think we should…’ and Word says it should be ‘thinks‘…”

Well, Australian English and American English have different ways of handling collective nouns, like company and family. They’re grammatically singular, but speakers of Australian English (and, it seems, British English) prefer to see the plurality of it. So in Australia you’re far more likely to see “The Motleyup Town Council welcome you” whereas American English would have it “welcomes“.

My sense is that this is changing in Australia. A dodgy Google search turns up more hits for “Australia welcomes you” than for “Australia welcome you“, without weeding out bogus examples. Which, but for work demands and laziness, I would do.

Usage guides are full of advice that no one cares about or ever uses. Ignore them and say what the population around you says. Or say.

Update: That wasn’t the best example. So I did a slightly more thorough, yet equally dodgy, search. I say ‘dodgy’ because Google fiddles with its page counts. I haven’t controlled for bogus hits.

Australia, “The family is“: about 121,000 pages
Australia, “The family are“: about 32,800 pages.
Australia, “The company is“: about about 850,000 pages
Australia, “The company are“: about about 121,000 pages.

Don’t do anything serious with these numbers. Still, this is a starting point for confirming how the singularisation of collective nouns seems to be creeping in.

Intel Macs: Q and A

What’s all this about new Macs having an Intel chip?

Two decades after the first Mac arrived, Apple said Wednesday that it would offer users of its latest models a simple way to run the Microsoft Windows operating system as well as its own.

That means a single Apple computer will deftly run programs written for either the Mac or Windows, though it will have to shut down one system to start the other.

Um, why would you want to run Windows on a Mac?

  • Gaming. This is probably the primary reason. Since even virtual machine solutions typically still emulate some aspects of video, to get the full performance Windows still has to be running natively directly on the hardware.
  • Best possible performance. For those who want Windows and their Windows applications to run as best as they possibly can, again, running Windows directly is required.
  • A desire to run Windows (for whatever reason, whether it be preference, desire, necessity, etc.) on quality Apple hardware, while also having the option to run Mac OS X.
  • Other applications for which direct hardware access is required.
  • Becuase you can. No reason at all other than to “do it”.

Is this a good thing for Mac users?

“We think [it] makes the Mac even more appealing to Windows users considering making the switch,” Philip Schiller, Apple’s senior vice president of worldwide product marketing, said in a statement.

Investors seemed to think the strategy would help Apple expand its share of the personal computer market beyond the 3 percent to 5 percent level where it has stood at for many years.

What would Steve Wozniak say?

“It’s a great thing for Apple,” he told a reporter by e-mail. “I don’t see the earth being rocked, but I can now recommend Apple hardware to a lot more people. One pitch is that if Windows gets too frustrating and unbearable and unsafe, then they can easily switch.”

Well, that sounds pretty good. So will I be able to run Classic Mac applications on my Mac?

Classic applications do not work on Intel processor-based Macs.

For best results using Mac OS X, upgrade your Mac OS 9 applications to a Mac OS X version. Check with the manufacturers for more information.

So you’re saying I’ll be able to run Windows, but not Mac Classic, on my Mac?! So that some guy can play Doom?

Update: It seems there is a way to run your Mac Classic applications! First, load Windows onto your Intel Mac. Then, download this Mac Emulator that runs on Windows. And run your Mac programs. In emulation on Windows. On your Mac.

Is that weird?

And Peter said, Frig, that was cold.

The effort to buttress the temple of faith continues, with predictably tiresome consequences.

A scientist suggests that Jesus may have pulled off the walking-on-water trick by walking on ice instead.

Rare conditions could have conspired to create hard-to-see ice on the Sea of Galilee that a person could have walked on back when Jesus is said to have walked on water, a scientist said today.

My question: will religious folk love this because it adds to the scientific plausibility of Jesus’ miracles, or will they hate it because it suggests that he wasn’t able to pull off the real thing?

Or will they think about it for five seconds of dumb confusion, decide it’s not important to their salvation, and go watch TV?

Bingo.

Spam names

While I’m on the topic of spam, what is the deal with the phony names of senders? It used to be they would pull name lists from censuses and combine them randomly to throw off spam-monitoring software. I knew that if I ever got email from “Constantine Q. McTaggart”, it’d be spam. (Until I met him and found that he’s a lovely person.)

Now they’re not even trying anymore — just throwing in lists of regular words. Which is why I got an email today from

Paraguay K. Emasculate

It’s just silly.

Got any entertaining spam names lately? Put ’em in comments.

Spam spam bigram; banana fanna fo fam

I was rather concerned to see the following subject in my inbox.

bullshit teacher

I thought it might be one of my students making some kind of comment (but is ‘bullshit’ describing the quality of the teacher, or the subject of the class?).

But then I read the message. Not to worry; it’s only spam.

I should have known better; it’s a spam tactic that’s been clogging my inbox for weeks now. Automatic mail watchers can flag spam by noticing that there are 2 million copies of the same message. So spammers drop one or two random words into the subject line of the email. Random text (or lately, snippets of novels) appears in the message body, and it hides the payload: a graphic touting their odious wares. Obviously they’re trying to fool the spam filters with nonsensical but plausible text. Tough to catch.

And you can do even better. You can create realistic sounding but nonsensical text using what’s known as a bigram model (but it’s also called a Markov chain). Here’s how to do it: Take a good-sized text and examine every combination of two words. Some combinations will occur frequently, others less so. Then start stringing likely combinations together, word by word, from the most likely pairs. Here’s a few sentences that I generated using a bigram model that was trained on the Old Testament.

Take ye careless ones: look upon the son of hosts; Is not spread forth, Jehoshaphat and flourishing in Galilee with their sockets of the heavens, which satisfieth thy dominion over against them, Go, borrow of Israel, whom David reigned in the Egyptians against me, saying, Take thee the children of thy fruit, and their brethren were in the end of Egypt with the Philistines stood above women in my throne, having his dainty meats: For the Preacher, vanity unto their inheritance, according unto the tongs from among them. And the LORD is in the faces of the Redeemer is his sword against gallery in the LORD, See, I shall not hearken to anger.

It can generate pages and pages of this stuff. The sentences are sometimes ungrammatical because my model isn’t very good, but it’s not bad considering I’m building the text two words at a time.

I present the nonsense text from my spam message for your edification.

unborn plunk
an horrifying upheaval Leo of as expensive frosted in stingy, allocate was briefing
quintessential at adroit family planning to ludicrously, stilts an pipsqueak, environmental lavender, food processor
low-paid agitate as interface jointly eaves classified
confusing and muddled asst. as robin the an
cordon tedious inroads
curiously meditate, are insurgent ineptitude as vagina, harebrained in sameness the immature,. translucent
birthplace as Bible of convertible geography, lit, the unclean a the pure, the tuberculosis

I think it’s a bit Joyce.

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