A serious talk.

Good morning, brothers and sisters. I’d like to speak this morning on a rather sensitive topic which represents a great evil in our society. I speak of… the problem of hot dogs. There are many people, both in and outside of the church, who eat hot dogs — a habit that will cause the spiritual destruction of those who engage in it.

Church leaders have warned us repeatedly of the dangers of hot dog eating. It is a pernicious evil. The hot dog industry is a multi-billion dollar business, and its influence in our society is only getting stronger. Hot dogs can be found at this moment in grocery stores, restaurants, and even in those little booths with wheels on the streets of our cities. There are many websites on the Internet devoted to it.

Some people argue that such hot-doggery is harmless, and that it is a sign — indeed, a symptom — of a healthy pluralistic society where many foods are available.

As a result, “people don’t seem to have a sense of outrage,” laments author Andrea Dworkin. “They don’t seem to care.”

Some people think they can get away with a little hot-dog eating once in a while, but the risks are great. It enslaves the eater, and promotes a harmful view of food.

Hot dogs are an addiction. People who use hot dogs may find themselves craving another hot dog days or even years later. Scientists now think that when people eat hot dogs, it triggers the release of ‘hot-doggo-toxins‘ — pleasure-inducing chemicals — in the body that cause the user to return helplessly for more. It has also been found that a great many criminals have hot dogs stored in the fridge when arrested.

I have heard anecdotally of a married couple like many in the church. They had been members of the church for many years, and had served faithfully. Then their world was turned upside-down when the husband confessed to his wife that for years he had had a problem with hot dog eating. She was angry and hurt. Though never consuming hot dogs herself, she felt feelings of guilt and shame. Sad to say, his hot dog habit was ultimately responsible for the dissolution of their marriage.

How can we avoid this threat? Stay away from situations where you may be tempted by hot dogs. Keep the refrigerator in a public place. As a parent, you should know what your children are eating.

Hot dogs are a threat to the spiritual well-being of those who eat them, those who make them… and those who smell them. Thank you.