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Three more things you should buy for Christmas

This born-again Atheist would like to wish everyone in the world a happy and secular Christmas. I did everything I wanted to this year. I put up the tree, sang Bach’s Christmas Oratorio and Handel’s Messiah, had a huge Christmas luncheon, and got a hug from a boy who got a Nintendo DS for his Big Present. It was great.

But there are a few things I’m going to buy, and I think you should too.

1) A Flying Spaghetti Monster ornament for the tree. Yes, I know it’s a car decoration. Adapt it — tie some string on it or something!

2) A mosquito net. People are dying from malaria, and 10 lousy bucks could buy a net and save a life.

Hat tip to Connor.

3) I can’t think of a third thing. Help me out, people. What’s worth spending money on?

7 Comments

  1. Our Aunty bought three ducks through Oxfam in our names (three kids). What a great present. I bought free trade tea for my aunty from Oxfam.
    An executive toy? The one with the swinging, clicking balls? Not the most exciting or wanted present in the world, but I got one. It’s been banished already. Too annoying.

    xozse: The number of runs England will get when Shane Warne starts bowling. Eg: “England have scored xozse since that blond guy got the ball!”

  2. Sam Harris:

    With all this high-profile atheism in mind, it might come as something of a surprise to learn what sort of tree Mr. Harris has sitting in his living room right now. Let’s just say that it is not a ficus, that it tapers to a little peak practically begging for a star and that it is currently sporting some lovely ornaments on its branches… And it was really not his idea but a result “of a lost tug of war with my wife,” who likes Christmas trappings and insisted on buying it. But he added that his reluctance “was good-natured all the while.”

    Richard Dawkins:

    “Presumably your reason for asking me is that ‘The God Delusion’ is an atheistic book, and you still think of Christmas as a religious festival,” Mr. Dawkins wrote… “But of course it has long since ceased to be a religious festival. I participate for family reasons, with a reluctance that owes more to aesthetics than atheistics… So divorced has Christmas become from religion that I find no necessity to bother with euphemisms such as happy holiday season. In the same way as many of my friends call themselves Jewish atheists, I acknowledge that I come from Christian cultural roots. I am a post-Christian atheist. So, understanding full well that the phrase retains zero religious significance, I unhesitatingly wish everyone a Merry Christmas.”

    I only want one thing for myself for christmas… The ability to seriously talk about socialism in the united states without being laughed at.

  3. I think that’s going to have to be your birthday present as well.

  4. How about a pope calendar
    ?? The profits go to children in Rwanda… and wouldn’t it be delightful see 12 different faces of Pope Benedict XVI?

  5. This one is better… It’s got the pictures!

  6. I like pictures 5 and 6.

    dhlmqu: A Mongolian dish served with the fins of a Baiji.

  7. Sorry, faerie and ash, when I moved over to new Blogger, it dropped your names from these comments. I hope that’s the worst of it.

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