Eternal Forces: Leave your mind behind.

Lots of talk about the Christian-themed video game Left Behind: Eternal Forces, which I haven’t played because sometime around 1995 when I became a parent and lost all my hair, I also started to become queasily motion-sick every time I tried to play a first-person shooter. That’s a pretty mild symptom compared to migraines and pregnancy-induced hypertension, so I guess I got off easy.

You’ve no doubt heard of the Rapture. The Rapture is hott right now. People only developed the theory in the 1800’s, but it seems that it was right there in the Bible the whole time. All the good people get lifted into heaven with Jesus, and all the baaad people get Left Behind. But that’s a bad thing, because even though there’s now a lot of really nice real estate just laying around, all the real estate agents got Left Behind as well. And the world turns into hell what with earthquakes and hailstones and nuclear war and various tribulations.

Right. So in the game, you’re the forces of good roaming New York, trying to convert any atheists and secularists you can find. If they don’t convert, you can kill them. It drops your ‘Spirit’ points a bit when you kill atheists and demons (same diff), but it’s the End Times, right? And you have to break some eggs to make omelets, right? Right.

It’s got a few people up in arms, including some Christians. I have no idea why. After all, if your idea of Ultimate Truth is the writings of superstitious genocidal tribesmen, then you’re going to show some signs of turning into a superstitious genocidal tribe. If it hasn’t happened to you yet, give it some time. And grab a joystick while you’re waiting.